KITCHENS AND DINING ROOMS AT POMPEII ... - Get a Free Blog

sufficiently 'cultured' to belong to the circle of banqueters, and to active society in general. How
one ate reflected first upon one's social station and then the degree to which a person was socially
active. Those who did not have the social connections to receive regular invitations might not
know how to behave at dinner. If they were invited and then caused offense, they then stood a
good chance of eating at home thereafter. Martial describes with comic sadness a habitual
offender of etiquette named Santra. Santra is pitiable (miser) because he spends days fishing for
an invitation, and when he finally lands one, he eats too much and tries to bring back the rest in
his dinner-napkin, disgusting his companions and probably spoiling his chances for a return. 86
Santra's motives for dining out are misdirected:
"In the evening, the time set aside for socializing, solitude was harder to bear
than frugality. Romans liked to feel that they belonged to a small social circle
and they were keen to receive dinner invitations, especially if they had no family
of their own. Dinners were what forged bonds between groups of people." 87
If Santra understood the true meaning of dinners as social occasions, he might eat less, behave
better, and increase his chances of dining again sooner. This epigram is both a cautionary tale
warning naïve readers how to behave at dinner, and a smug wink at wise readers who could not
possibly be as socially inept as the comical Santra.
Written on the walls of triclinium (12) in the Casa del Moralista (III.4.2) at Pompeii was a
short guide to manners. Three precepts offer a unique insight into one householder's rules for
conducting a proper meal:
1. Let the slave wash your feet with water and wipe them dry; let him cover the
dining-couch with a napkin; take care with our linens.
2. Put aside lascivious looks and alluring eyes at the wife of another man; let
decency reside in your speech.
3. Speak pleasant words and avoid troublesome quarrels if you can; otherwise
take steps to your own house. 88
86 Mart. 7.20.
87 Dupont 1992, 273. Another epigrammatic character, Selius, is described in Mart. 2.11 as depressed, and
with a cloudy brow (fronte nubila); the reason for his melancholy is kept in suspense until the end of the
poem: "His sorrow then -- what is the cause of it? He dines at home!"; Maeroris igitur causa quae? domi cenat
(Loeb text and translation).
88 CIL IV.7698: Abluat unda pedes puer ed detergeat udos, mappa torum velet, lintea nostra cave. Lascivos vultus et
blandos aufert ocellos coniuge ab alterius, sit tibi in ore pudor. Utere blanditiis odiosaque iurgia differ si potes aut
gressus ad tua tecta refer (author's translation; see also Della Corte 1927, 78; Maiuri 1954a, 77). Other authors
also offer pleas for good behavior at a meal: Var. Men. Ag. 6 and Mart. 10.48 ("To crown these (fruits and
good wine) shall be jests without gall, and a freedom not to be dreaded the next morning, and no word you
would wish unsaid"; Accedent sine felle ioci nec mane timenda libertas et nil quod tacuisse velis (Loeb text and
translation).
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