Qn VATW Lk WAw LwUiWE WWW M - (PDF, 101 mb) - USAID

1. ORDERS: "Don't do that anymore !"
TWELVE ROADBLOC"S TO C0,-,:ICATIOT
2. THREATS: "If you do that anymore, I'r going to severely punish you."
3. PREAC1IM: "you ought to know better than that."
4. PERSUADING WITH LCGIC: "I read an article that said that stuff will cause
you to lose your mem.ory. You wouldn,;t want that to
happen, *ould you?"
5. ADVICE: "Next time'you're in that mood, Just distract yourself with
a good book."
•6. CRITICISM: "you were real-ly stupid to do that."
7. PRAISE: "tlelJ., I think you're a nice person, anyvay. 1 '
8. REASSURAN E: "That's too bad, but don't worry, one mistake doesn't mean
that much."
9. DIAGN!OSING: "The real problem is that your parents don't spend enough
time vrith vn,, -"1
10. CREGS-ETAMINIWG: "You know the rules. Why did you do it?"
11. CHAIiGING 71E SUBJECT: "This happened to another kid here at school and he
was really
12. SARCAM4: "Of course you thought you would never get caught."
Any of -.he roadblocks used at a ti. when we should be listening may
create definsiveness in the other person or further build dependence
rather than maturity. Praise can have negative results when it replaces
listening; praise can be and often is the first step in manipulation.
ListeninC can build confidence that the pervcn seeking help can work out
his own proble.ma. To actively listen, we rust be willing and able to
set
aside our own needs and concentraLe fully on what
so that our responses are commnunication rather than roadblocks.
the other is saying
Thimnt, it. Cordinn, M-:nt Effoctivcnes TraininG, Peter H. Wyden,
:)#:w York, 1970.
i 01"