j----_. - New York Civil Liberties Union

Mahopac 472
Teacher Notes on Lesson 32
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Background This lesson zeroes in on the gaps in interpersonal communication .
that often exist between an intended message and the actual message
that is conveyed. Students must recognize the unclear or
"mixed" messages that result when their words are not backed by
appropriate actions or when they choose words which do not clearly
delineate their thoughts, feelings, or intentions.
Sending a clear message involves four elements:
• self-awareness: recognition of one's own feelings, thoughts,
and desired outcomes in a situation
• words: choosing words which accurately convey the intended
message
• body language: use of appropriate
contact
• actions: follow-through
behavior.
posture, gestures, eye
Being mindful of the gap that can emerge between what one wants to
say and what one actually says, students may need coaching with
specific words and body language. The students in the class have a
wealth of experiences and ideas they can bring to this activity.
Using this situation as a springboard, you may create your own situation
based on your experiences with teenage students, or you may
encourage students to pose their own situation for groups to work
in. Role-playing is employed to reinforce the positive communication
patterns for the rest of the class.
It may be helpful to define the following terms:
• desired outcome: what one wants to happen
ina situation
• feeling: an emotional response usually expressed by one
word, such as: happy, sad, angry, and scared
• clear message: a statement which clearly communicates a
thought, feeling, or desired outcome. (Example: I feel hurt
when I think you're ignoring me. I'd like you to understand
that.)
• thought:
ideas or beliefs that occur in our minds.
It is important for students to understand the meaning of these
terms, as students at this age often confuse thoughts with feelings.
Though feelings are usually an immediate response to a situation,
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