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need to see you as soon as possible, this chemistry is crazy.” It
wasn’t chemistry it was my dick. To her, it was a guy actually
being blown away enough to want to skip work and see her,
and that made her feel like hot shit. It wasn’t so much my
game; it was her ego that led her to meet up with me the next
day. No date, no real recon on me, but real sex. Be smarter.
Don’t let a man lullaby you with phone boning before you go
on an actual date. In terms of the questions you ask and the
answers you get, they won’t all be picture perfect like
Stephen’s responses. You may meet a man who may not have
a great job or doesn’t want to tell you what he does. It’s very
important to know these things before you go on a date, so
don’t be afraid to press. No woman should agree to meet out in
public with “Tavon who does a bit of everything.” If your
friend were to try to file a missing person’s report, it’s better
that she knows that you were going out with Tavon who
worked at General Motors. “I get money” or “I work for my
Uncle,” isn’t a respectable response. Position—does he have
one? Not all men will be truthful, but at least, do your part.
You may get a man who has children. You have to
decide if that is a deal breaker for you right then and there. My
friend told me how she dated a guy who met all her
qualifications and then some, but he had one drawback, a
young child. He looked so good that she revamped her views
on men with kids like, “I’ll play step mom, he’s that fine!”
After weeks of dating, she realized that it was always going to
be a deal breaker. Her lust for him didn’t change the fact that
she was not about the, “My man has kids by other women,”
life. She wasted weeks, when she should have kept it real the
moment he said he had a son. It’s okay to have selfish
standards, and it’s even better to own up to them starting out
on Day 0. If you front for a man and lie to yourself to make
him work, it will eventually catch up to you, causing you to
back out after you put in this work. Be honest with yourself!
What if you are the one with children and he does his
own recon? In Solving Single, I talked about dating with
children, and I stand by the notion that you don’t have to
volunteer that information until he earns a first date. However,
it’s never good to start out with a lie if directly asked. If he