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Saying affirming things based on the fact that you love him,
not based on him making a smart move, will only fuel him to
keep doing the same shit. Play it straight and be affectionate in
other ways for now. Once you establish that you can say, “how
was it going with such and such,” and he sits down and opens
up in detail, his trust has been earned. From there, show that
you have been paying attention by offering solutions that have
been thought out. No one wants to hear common sense
responses like, “Try harder. Find a new job. Go to HR.” Show
him you aren’t like other women by thinking outside of the
box in terms of offering help. He may take it, he may not take
it, but the point is you tried to help him out in a progressive
and non-condescending way.
In terms of your personal relationship, what does his
response to your help tell you about his character? You are still
playing this game of life, still revealing compatibility, don’t
shake it off as if things will get better. Observe how he opens
up, but also, how he responds to solving his internal strife. You
can’t seriously continue on with a man who doesn’t learn, who
only wants to complain, and who dismisses anything you say
because he’s committed to doing things his way even when
it’s not working. A man like this is destructive and selfdefeating.
This isn’t something you could have sniffed out
during dating, again, this is one of those “wait until the
relationship” situations you go through to further prove if he is
or isn’t husband material.