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Don’t Fall Back into Your Story
A big part of preventing burnout is to keep up with the main
thing laid out on the first date. Let him do the talking. When
you get him on the phone and you get all the jokes out, you’ll
most likely be cuddled up in your bed, hair in your bonnet, and
feeling all warm and fuzzy. This usually results in a woman
telling too much to a man she barely knows. There will be
plenty of time for your story. This is Forrest Gump, he’s
Forrest, and you’re that woman on the bench that’s asking,
“What the fuck was up with Jenny?”
Do not get so comfortable in your environment that you
feel as if you need to tell him about childhood trauma. Do not
let his smooth phone voice drop your guard and make you talk
about how worried you are about money or health. Do not
revert to stories about your ex’s mother, your father’s drinking
problem, your sister’s loser husband, or anything that triggers
your own personal therapy session. There is nothing wrong
with talking about things that you plan on doing, or your views
on life, politics, religion, family, etc…However, stay away
from going into your own personal life stories to prove a point.
The first week of calls is about him pouring himself out, so
you can filter the bullshit. The same way you are relaxed, he’s
relaxed at his place, and he will start to snitch on himself the
later it gets on that phone call. Your job is to listen to Forrest
spin his tales, only interjecting to make a joke, comment, or to
ask for clarity on something. I will say it again; people love to
hear themselves talk more than they like to listen to others
talk. Expose that on your first post-date phone call, and
continue to hit that each night you two cupcake on the phone.