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Dick On a Pedestal

A longtime friend, let’s call him Billy because that’s not his

name, once made a bold statement to a group of us who were

busting his balls about why he chose to talk to a girl that was

not his type. It wasn’t that the girl was ugly, but Billy is one of

those braggers that loves to talk about what he will and won’t

hit. Given that this girl he just pulled was not the “exotic with

D-cups” type he always talked about, we called him out on his

hypocrisy in the way that we men do, by clowning him. His

response was, “Look at my height and my eyes, that bitch is

going to give me head by this weekend.” We all laughed at the

time, then we got texted pictures, not of the act, but of enough

evidence to show it was going down. Over the next three

months, it stopped being funny to me when this same girl

began to hang around like his personal slave. She wasn’t his

girlfriend, but she acted like it and he let her eat it up. Now, I

see that she was a placeholder, but it was another story,

however, that gave me further insight years later about

Pedestal Dicks.

There was a young woman, I’ll call Brandi, who was

asking for advice. She had been dating this guy who started off

nice, but then started to be a jerk after the second date. No

more morning texts and no more date offers. It had only been

about three weeks, and she was asking me how to get her

“man” back to the way things were. By the time I was able to

respond, she had seemingly solved her own problem. Brandi

fucked this guy to change his attitude and said that “Oh, it’s all

good now, turns out he just needed sex.” Not even a week later

she came running back because the sex didn’t fix it! I told her

silly ass that she fell for the push and pull. Her response put it

all in perspective. “You don’t understand, he’s super famous in

my town, everyone knows him and every girl tries to date him,

but he chose me.” And there it was.

The same way my friend Billy knew that his height and

light eyes made him appealing to certain women, Brandi’s guy

knew that his local fame made him a trophy for local basic

bitches. The through line is that men will play the date to fuck

game because they know that certain women will allow them

to accelerate the process and lead to sex relatively easy. Billy’s

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