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Don’t Bring Up Other Women or Men
Staying on the subject of minding your own damn business, do
not bring up other women who may currently be in his life. In
the advice I give daily, I’m often talking to women who are
dating guys who already have girlfriends, who are in
situationships, or men who are on break but not really free of
their ex. People rarely clean break from relationships before
getting into new ones, it’s clearly the world we live in, or I
wouldn’t get so many emails on the subject. All you can go off
is what he tells you on Day 0. If you do the baby mama check
or the “your girlfriend” check, as I laid out earlier, you can
only base the opportunity you’re giving him off his answer. If
a man lies and says, “I don’t have one of those,” then take his
word… don’t believe it, but give him the benefit of the doubt
for now. If it comes up on the date or in a conversation postdate
that he was lying, then you cut him the fuck off! Some
men will tell you, “I didn’t want to scare you off. It’s
complicated. We’re breaking up.” Do not buy it! If he lies, he
has to go. No exceptions.
If he responded honestly and said, “I actually am seeing
someone,” or “I’m trying to end it with my ex, but she keeps
holding on.” Then use your discretion. I don’t advise getting
into a messy situation where the last chapter isn’t closed. In a
perfect world, a man will be single or at the most, only dating,
the same as you are. However, your reality may push you
towards someone who has some baggage but still seems worth
the chance. I’m not going to tell you to close the door if he’s
being honest about that current relationship, but don’t be naïve
either. For anyone that read Solving Single you already know
my stance on taking a man from a weak bitch being easier than
buying food stamps from a junkie. A girlfriend isn’t the same
as a wife, she can easily be removed. A situationship dummy
is just another placeholder, she too can be pushed out.
If a man is entertaining you, yet admits to having
something else he’s trying to get out of, it may be a lie so he
can double dip, or it may be the truth and he is trying to find a
reason to clear his roster. Nevertheless, you have to
consciously understand and accept the boat you’re climbing
into or you could end up in the same situation a few months