COUV ACTES - Psychologie communautaire

Community Psychology: Common Values, Diverse PracticesThis statement illustrates the belief expressed by many men that a man cannot change, certainly not after certainage when they are already formed. On an optimistic note, perhaps an opportunity for intervention can be seen intheir perception that men become unchangeable only after 30. They do not say that men are born like that!The focus group discussions with men showed similar attitudes among the groups: that once married a wife isforever a man’s property. State interventions and programs that put distance between perpetrator and victim arenot accepted by the men. For example, the men consider a restraining order as unacceptable, only interferingwith the family and their status as men. A similar perception was expressed about therapy: this would bringshame and is not helpful.A divorce is certainly not regarded as appropriate or acceptable.“Getting a divorce is not good, I mean I can’t think of it, to give my wife to somebody else, my kid will callsomebody else father... I am totally against it” (32 year old man, married, 1 child, primary school)Also women are taught by their mothers: “where you go in your wedding dress you can only leave in your deathshroud”.According to focus group participants’ view, men are “proud creatures” and these interventions offend their prideand do, in their view, not contribute to a solution.In the views of the men the woman is responsible for everything:She is provoking violence, blamed for the violenceShe is responsible for keeping the family honour, bearing the violence in silence and accepting itBut, when living with violence, also she is also responsible for keeping the family stays together, including thechildren.ConclusionWe need to understand how men think to be able to challenge the notions that cause them to behave violentlytowards women. We have also seen that men do change over generations and that there are entry points forworking with men and boys.ReferencesNational Research on Domestic Violence against Women in Turkey. KSGM, EU, ICON/HUIPS/BNB. 2009 (Mainreport and Summary report available in English and Turkish)Jansen H.A.F.M., B. Dönmez and K. Altınel. Website National Research on Domestic Violence against Women inTurkey 2008: http://www.ksgm.gov.tr/tdvaw/default.htm (in English and Turkish).233