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with pauses or whether he speaks continuously. This takes time to really notice and
practise matching.
According to Andreas and Faulkner (1998:149) rapport can be achieved by
becoming similar to the person you are communicating with by matching his posture
slowly not abruptly, for example, ifyou are sitting opposite him in an office, otherwise
you might be seen to be mimicking him and that might break the rapport. Andreas and
Faulkner (1998:152) say you can also match the pattern of that person's physical
movements i.e. noticing whether he moves a lot or a little, whether he uses "large or
smooth gestures (or) small and abrupt ones" You can also learn to align yourself
physically by moving closer to the other person and sharing the physical space, like you
do when you are watching photos. Facing a similar direction gives the impression that
you are moving towards the same direction and there is a great likelihood that you may
see things in a similar way. This is the opposite of a situation where you might be
deliberately keeping a distance between you and the person you are communicating
with e.g. a teacher who makes sure that he stands behind his table to maintain his
distance with his learners.
According to Andreas
and Faulkner (1998:154) "Aligning yourself with
someone is a great metaphor to help you remember what to do literally when you want
to build the common ground upon which relationships develop."
One can also build rapport with people who are emotionally stressed or upset by
acknowledging their state of mind, which does not mean you agree with what they are
saying. It will mean you are accepting them as they are. As evidence of their
recognition of your acknowledgement oftheir feelings, they will relax ifthey had been
upset. However, if someone is upset and you just remain calm and make it known that
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