the abbreviated reign of “neon” leon spinks

DESPERATION IS THE CRADLE OF BAD IDEAS 149
But if you’re waiting for a total ban on beer sales at baseball stadi-
ums, better plan for a long wait. “Beer sponsorship is such a big-dollar
component,” sports sociologist Richard Lapchick told a newspaper sportswriter
in 2003. “It’s hard to imagine a professional league banning its
sale.” Besides, in an age when increasingly fast and extreme sports have
conditioned fans for a constant adreno-rush of action, it’s harder still to
imagine watching nine innings of baseball without at least a little help.
BROADCASTING THE BRAWL
As Ten-Cent Beer Night descended into madness and savagery,
the honor of broadcasting the unfolding events fell to radio announcers
Joe Tait and Herb Score. The transcript of their comments, reproduced
in Bob Dyer’s Cleveland Sports Legends, has a Hindenburgian oh- thehumanity
flavor, but with hints of World Wrestling Federation nuttiness.
Some abridged highlights:
Tait: Tom Hilgendorf has been hit on the head. Hilgy is in
definite pain. He’s bent over, holding his head. Somebody hit Hilgendorf
on the head, and he’s going to be assisted back to the dugout. Aw,
this is absolute tragedy. Absolute tragedy . . . And I’ll be perfectly
honest with you: I just don’t know what to say.
Score: I don’t think this game will continue, Joe. . . . The
unbelievable thing is people keep jumping out of the stands after they
see what’s going on!
Tait: Well, that just shows you the complete lack of brainpower
on the parts of some people. There’s no way I’m going to run out
onto the field if I see some baseball player waving a bat out there looking
for somebody. This is tragic. . . . The whole thing has degenerated
now into just—now we’ve got another fi ght going with fans and
ballplayers. Hargrove has got some kid on the ground and he is really
administering a beating. . . . Boy, Hargrove really wants a piece of
him, and I don’t blame him.