the abbreviated reign of “neon” leon spinks

THE BONUS CHAPTER 233
Can’t Stop the Music remains a video-store cult curiosity. It’s notable not
only for its lack of a coherent plot and its gratuitous splashing-in-the-pool
beefcake scenes, but for the acting debut of former Olympic gold- medal
winner Bruce Jenner—of whom one Web movie reviewer notes, “He has
no discernible acting ability, but seems like Kenneth Branagh compared
to the rest.”
The Smokeless Cigarette
In the early 1980s, with smokers’ lawsuits presenting a threat to the
tobacco industry’s survival, cigarette manufacturer RJ Reynolds spent
$800 million on a top secret product-development effort. The result was
Premier. It looked like a regular cigarette, but contained only a tiny
amount of tobacco, which was heated, rather than burned, by a special
device in the tip and then filtered through “flavor beads” when a smoker
inhaled. Premier created almost no smoke and few of the carcinogens that
had gotten the industry into so much trouble. The problem was that smokers
hated the taste, which a Japanese focus group described by repeating
an expression in their language that company officials translated into English
as “tastes like shit.” Premier flopped so quickly that Reynolds pulled
it from the market after only a year.
The Worst Oscars Telecast Ever
The 61st Academy Awards in 1989, also produced by disco auteur
Allan Carr (see “The Village People Movie,” above), featured a twelveminute
opening musical extravaganza that included dancing cocktail tables,
a high-kicking chorus line, Merv Griffin serenading Doris Day and
Vincent Price with a rendition of “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts,”
and then-rising young movie star Rob Lowe’s Vegas lounge–style version
of “Proud Mary,” which he sang as a duet with an actress costumed as the
Disney version of Snow White—sans permission from the studio, a faux
pas that later led to litigation. Other highlights of the broadcast included
an even longer production number featuring a Michael Jackson imperson-