Daily Life of the Ancient Greeks

The People 85
reverse, of course, of what prevails today—men tended to marry
women who were a decade or more younger than they were. And
this had huge implications for relations between the sexes, because
it meant that husbands tended to lord it over their wives.
At the same time, evidence suggests that men did not invariably
have the upper hand. To give a humorous example, Sokrates’
wife Xanthippe is said to have doused the philosopher in water
on one occasion and to have stripped him of his cloak in public
on another (Diogenes Laertios 2.36–37). Relationships between the
sexes were no doubt complex, as they have been throughout history.
As Hektor’s wife Andromache observed, “I offered my husband a
silent tongue and gentle looks. I knew when to have my way and
when to let him have his” (Euripides, Trojan Women 655f.)—surely
the recipe for a happy marriage in any age. Even so, we should not
attach too much credence to a remark ascribed by Plutarch to the
Athenian politician Themistokles, who claimed that his son was the
most powerful person in Greece on the grounds that the Athenians
commanded the Greeks; he, Themistokles, commanded the Athenians;
his wife commanded him; and his son commanded his wife
(Plutarch, Life of Themistokles 18.5).
MEN
For a citizen of any community, excepting Sparta, where duty
to the state overrode every other consideration, the ideal status
was that of a gentleman of leisure. There were two ways in which
one became a gentleman of leisure: either by owning a large estate
worked by slaves or by engaging in trade, again by using slaves.
Released from the obligations of earning their living, such persons
were free to fulfill their civic and political obligations, not only as a
participant in the affairs of state, but also as an informed member
of the community. It may seem strange to us that politics featured
so centrally in the lives of the Greeks, but this was due primarily to
the fact that Greek democracy was participatory, not representative,
which meant that the ordinary citizen was central and indispensable
to the democratic process. As indicated earlier, his duties included
loafing about in the Agora (see p. 42) —talking about current affairs
or forthcoming lawsuits, discussing the upcoming agenda of the
assembly or council, and gossiping. If the spirit moved him, it also
included joining in philosophical debate with one of the many
thinkers, such as Sokrates or the Stoics, who also passed time in the
Agora and who commonly chose subjects for discussion that had a