Small Talk

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86 . the fine art of small talk while. You have some history together, you know a bit about each other, and you don’t have a clue what’s changed in the year since you last saw each other. In fact, it’s good to assume that things probably have changed. Suppose you see a colleague annually at an industry function. In the past twelve months your colleague may have gotten a different job, experienced the death of a close friend or relative, gone on an extraordinary vacation, had a spiritual awakening, or gotten married or divorced. In other words, don’t presume that you are picking up a conversation that started a year ago. Without asking So what’s new?, a question that begs the conversationstopping answer Not much, seek out what’s new and keep the conversation rolling with questions like these: With Acquaintances Use • Bring me up to date on . . . • What’s been going on with work since I last saw you? • What has changed in your life since we spoke last? • How’s your year been? • What’s new with the family?
prevent pregnant pauses with preparation . 87 With Acquaintances Don’t Use • How’s your wife/husband/partner? • How’s your job at ...? • What are your child’s college plans? All of the above can backfire if you do not know the person well. GETTING A HISTORY LESSON Frequently, you find yourself in an awkward silence or a pregnant pause in the conversation. It is up to you to either invigorate the conversation or allow it to slowly grind to a halt. Do your part to charge up the conversation by being prepared with questions on the origin and history of those people you are with. For instance, you can inquire:
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Contents Preface ix chapter 1 What
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Preface When I first got into the b
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preface . xi didn’t know how to k
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preface . xiii commentary on some f
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preface . xv to present themselves.
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2 Get Over Your Mom’s Good Intent
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15 Holiday Party Savvy Survive the
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Acknowledgments The need for additi
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Small Talk

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