Small Talk

surviving the singles scene . 171
You: How often do you go out?
Her: Almost every night.
As she’s responding, think about how to comment
on what she’s saying, rather than on your next question.
This exercise does wonders to sharpen your listening skills.
You: Now that sounds like a lot of work!
Comment on her response rather than asking a predictable
follow-up question like Where do you like to go? It
takes a higher level of listening to make a follow-up
comment than it does to ask a follow-up question. If you
had a follow-up question in mind that you were tempted
to use but did not, then you are on the right path. Although
you didn’t follow with a question, it doesn’t
mean you shouldn’t have had one at the ready. As a general
rule, always formulate at least one follow-up question
and keep it in your head even if you may not use it.
Instead of a witty or humorous follow-up comment,
another option is to follow up with a disclosure. Let’s see
how this works: