Small Talk
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52 . the fine art of small talk<br />
DIGGING DEEPER<br />
Every Monday in offices across the country people<br />
ask each other, How was your weekend? That question<br />
most often nets a one-sentence reply akin to, Good. How<br />
about yours? Before a reply is even uttered, you are ten<br />
steps down the hall. What’s the message? That you really<br />
weren’t interested, you were just saying hello. How was<br />
your vacation? How was your holiday? How’s work? How are<br />
you? What’s been going on? How have you been? These everyday<br />
inquiries are just a few other ways of saying hello. It’s<br />
almost universally understood that these questions are a<br />
form of greeting, not a sincere inquiry. Only in America.<br />
In most other cultures and countries How are you? really<br />
means How are you? It would be considered rude to ask<br />
that question and not expect an answer.<br />
Most of the time the conversation ends immediately<br />
after a brief exchange. I ask my husband, Steve, How was<br />
your day? He replies, Great. The conversation evaporates—<br />
not because there was no place to go with it but because<br />
of a lack of follow-up. My husband doesn’t think I really<br />
care about his day unless I ask more. I invite conversation<br />
by saying, What made it so great? What went on for you<br />
today?
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