Small Talk

surviving the singles scene . 167
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!
One of the most daunting aspects of singles socializing
is making your entrance—actually walking in to
where the action is taking place. It’s important to understand
that you don’t have to make small talk immediately
upon entering. Suzanne says she always takes a deep
breath before she enters the room and visualizes pulling
all her energy into her core, so that she’s not sending out
any “feelers” when she makes her entrance. She’s literally
pulling herself together!
Stand in the doorway and survey the scene. This accomplishes
two things: You get a moment to stabilize
yourself and get your bearings, and you are framing yourself
for everyone to see; they will perceive you as a selfconfident
person and unconsciously hope for the chance
to speak with you. Self-confidence is probably the single
most powerful magnet, right after good looks.
But after you walk into the room, pretend you’re invisible.
No one sees you, so you have no need to feel uncomfortable
or insecure. Everyone else in the room is
either too occupied with their own activity or conversation
or else completely absorbed in their own feelings of