Small Talk

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52 . the fine art of small talk DIGGING DEEPER Every Monday in offices across the country people ask each other, How was your weekend? That question most often nets a one-sentence reply akin to, Good. How about yours? Before a reply is even uttered, you are ten steps down the hall. What’s the message? That you really weren’t interested, you were just saying hello. How was your vacation? How was your holiday? How’s work? How are you? What’s been going on? How have you been? These everyday inquiries are just a few other ways of saying hello. It’s almost universally understood that these questions are a form of greeting, not a sincere inquiry. Only in America. In most other cultures and countries How are you? really means How are you? It would be considered rude to ask that question and not expect an answer. Most of the time the conversation ends immediately after a brief exchange. I ask my husband, Steve, How was your day? He replies, Great. The conversation evaporates— not because there was no place to go with it but because of a lack of follow-up. My husband doesn’t think I really care about his day unless I ask more. I invite conversation by saying, What made it so great? What went on for you today?
let’s give ’em something to talk about . 53 The following script illustrates a conversation mired in a rut of clichés: Debra: Hi Jon! How are you today? Jon: I’m feeling pretty blue. Debra: Well Jon, keep your chin up! Jon: I think I might get laid off! Debra: Good jobs are few and far between. Jon: Do you think I should start looking for a new job right away? Debra: If you don’t lift a finger you could be out in the cold, perhaps not even able to bring home the bacon much less keep body and soul together, and wouldn’t that be a fine kettle of fish? Jon: What do you think the best approach would be? Looking through the Sunday classified ads? Debra: Sure. Take the bull by the horns. Put your best foot forward and face the
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Contents Preface ix chapter 1 What
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Preface When I first got into the b
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preface . xi didn’t know how to k
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preface . xiii commentary on some f
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preface . xvii 4. I go to at least
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8 Conversational Clout Ido not sugg
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Acknowledgments The need for additi
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Small Talk

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