Small Talk

making it seem like unemployment is preferable to his
own job woes. Before you know it, the group is talking
all about what’s going on in the industry, and Brian’s job
search is lost in the shuffle. His troubles aren’t acknowledged.
No solutions are offered. No sympathy is given.
No encouraging words found him. Brian is left feeling
like no one really cares about his plight. While John
might have thought he was being supportive, he wasn’t.
He simply diverted attention away from Brian and onto
himself.
Women are experts at topping another’s story, but
their approach is to match someone else’s. For instance,
Rose talks about relationship problems she’s having with
Steven, and Shelley commiserates by saying, Honey, I
know just what you mean. My Anthony had the nerve to...
The woman who topped the initial woman’s story didn’t
really commiserate. She stole the show. She took the
spotlight off the other woman and put it right on herself.
She stopped the other woman in the middle of her story.
A business friend, Vivian, recounted the following
horror story she and her beau witnessed at a swinging
soiree in Washington, D.C.: “Another couple attended
with us. During the reception, the wife—we’ll call her
Cathy—commented that another woman who was standcrimes
and misdemeanors . 121