Small Talk

50 . the fine art of small talk
as little as she wants. These questions demand more than
a simple yes or no answer, yet they make no stressful demands.
Your partner will decide how much she feels
comfortable saying. Such questions are effective with
coworkers, kids, neighbors, in-laws, industry colleagues,
friends, and when first making the acquaintance of a
stranger. The key to successfully using open-ended questions
is choosing the right question and then following
up with another if it’s needed.
For instance, let’s take the toughest conversation
partners of all: school-age kids. They make it so difficult
to have a conversation, it’s almost an oxymoron to consider
them conversation partners. Nonetheless, because
they are kids, I give them the benefit of the doubt and
hone my skills with my own two kids. I know I haven’t
lost my edge when I get them engaged in a meaningful
dialogue.
My kids come through the door at the end of the day,
and I ask, How was your day at school? In stereo, I get
back, Fine. Instead of considering that a dead end, I follow
up with another question. I inquire, What did you like
about it today? My teenage son usually says, I don’t know. I
look him right in the eye and tell him, Really, tell me