Small Talk

176 . the fine art of small talk
know only one man, either single or married, who thinks
shopping would be a fun date.
The best dating advice I’ve heard lately is from a
man who never asks for a date the first time he calls or
e-mails. He exercises patience and waits until the second
or third contact. Even then, he tries to suggest something
that he might do with any friend, like a bike ride
or a gallery tour. This approach takes a little longer, but
it builds real trust and affection before moving on to the
heavier stuff. In the long run, he probably gets farther
faster and with a more satisfying outcome. Another piece
of advice offered by my eighteen-year-old son that makes
sense: Don’t plan a movie/theater date for the first few
dates. Interaction is key to getting to know each other.
Try to empathize with the person who’s doing the
calling. Courage is required of anyone asking for a date.
When asked: Friday or Saturday night? or What are you up
for—a movie or some dancing? please do not answer with:
Whatever. A Whatever response indicates one of two
things, neither one of them positive: You either don’t
care about this person or the conversation, or you don’t
know what you want. A cheerful comeback: Saturday
night sounds great or I’d be happy to go dancing with you either
night is appropriate.