Small Talk

92 . the fine art of small talk
speaker always makes eye contact prior to throwing, so
that the ball won’t be dropped! If the speaker doesn’t
make eye contact or the listener isn’t paying attention,
the conversation abruptly ends with a noticeable thud.
Advance planning helps ensure that the ball doesn’t
get dropped. If you are at an event where you’ll spend a
considerable amount of time with the same group, such
as a luncheon, be prepared to move beyond icebreakers
and initial conversation-makers. You need to be prepared
to engage in longer conversations, so you need more topics.
This needn’t be difficult. If you are worried that
you’ll forget, keep a cheat sheet in your wallet or purse to
peruse just prior to lunch.
The one topic that you needn’t have a list for is the
one you know best: yourself. Out of courtesy to the introverts
in the crowd, I have waited until we were well
into the book before getting to this point. Regardless of
how many appropriate questions you have on hand,
sooner or later you must talk about yourself. The rules of
good conversation require give and take. If you only ask
questions, your conversation partner will resent the lack
of parity. It’s important that each person tell about herself.
This is a stretch for some people, though. It used to
be a stretch for me, too. I have discovered that most peo-