Small Talk
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80 . the fine art of small talk<br />
sider ourselves quiet often congratulate ourselves for our<br />
awesome listening skills; at least we keep our mouths<br />
shut and listen! But this attitude is sometimes reflected<br />
as a lack of participation in the conversation. Too much<br />
listening and not enough verbalizing can halt a conversation,<br />
too. It is important to verbally let others know that<br />
we are following along, actively listening.<br />
STATING THE OBVIOUS<br />
When you paraphrase what’s been said, or repeat the<br />
specifics of what you have heard, there can be no doubt<br />
that you have listened and understood the speaker. This<br />
is especially effective when you are disagreeing with your<br />
conversation partner or have listened to her explain<br />
something highly complex or technical. Paraphrasing the<br />
speaker clarifies that you understood accurately. Or it can<br />
help the speaker recognize that you misunderstood what<br />
she was attempting to communicate. For instance: I am<br />
unhappy with what I perceive as lack of help from my<br />
husband with household chores. We discuss the problem.<br />
I am thrilled when Steve promises to help more around<br />
the house. Two weeks later I jump all over him. I am upset<br />
because I have not witnessed his added help around