28.06.2017 Views

Small Talk

Create successful ePaper yourself

Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.

80 . the fine art of small talk<br />

sider ourselves quiet often congratulate ourselves for our<br />

awesome listening skills; at least we keep our mouths<br />

shut and listen! But this attitude is sometimes reflected<br />

as a lack of participation in the conversation. Too much<br />

listening and not enough verbalizing can halt a conversation,<br />

too. It is important to verbally let others know that<br />

we are following along, actively listening.<br />

STATING THE OBVIOUS<br />

When you paraphrase what’s been said, or repeat the<br />

specifics of what you have heard, there can be no doubt<br />

that you have listened and understood the speaker. This<br />

is especially effective when you are disagreeing with your<br />

conversation partner or have listened to her explain<br />

something highly complex or technical. Paraphrasing the<br />

speaker clarifies that you understood accurately. Or it can<br />

help the speaker recognize that you misunderstood what<br />

she was attempting to communicate. For instance: I am<br />

unhappy with what I perceive as lack of help from my<br />

husband with household chores. We discuss the problem.<br />

I am thrilled when Steve promises to help more around<br />

the house. Two weeks later I jump all over him. I am upset<br />

because I have not witnessed his added help around

Hooray! Your file is uploaded and ready to be published.

Saved successfully!

Ooh no, something went wrong!