Small Talk

182 . the fine art of small talk
reveals his frustration in the telling of this tale: “A
‘friend’ fixed me up, a term I have learned to loathe, with
a psychologist from Manhattan who specializes in working
with sexually abused women and children. I like
smart women, so I (foolishly) said yes. I met Sarah at a
wonderful restaurant in San Francisco. After we sat
down, her first question was ‘Have you had an AIDS
test?’ (I was immediately reminded of a woman friend
who suggested, at the time of my divorce, that I have an
AIDS test, which would make me more ‘marketable.’) I
always try to find humor in a moment of adversity, so I
suggested to Sarah that we order a drink first, then I’d fill
out the questionnaire. Sarah was not amused. ‘Look,’ she
insisted, ‘it’s the twenty-first century, and I’m not going
to fool around with some guy who doesn’t know where
it’s been!’ Things went downhill from there. I went into
my ‘I’ll seem smart by shutting up’ mode and just listened
for an hour to reports of spousal abuse, lover abuse,
child abuse, shrink abuse, deadbeat everything. I shook
Sarah’s hand as we left the restaurant and said, ‘Ahhhh,
errrr, it’s been ...unique.’ Amazingly, Sarah called me
the next day and told me what a wonderful time she
had—and ...could we see each other again?”
Try some sensitivity before you blurt out opinions.