Small Talk

prevent pregnant pauses with preparation . 103
• You manage to run such an organized home, even
with four children!
Again, the ticket to a successful pat on the back is
that you offer it sincerely. You may find that the person
you are complimenting has difficulty receiving the
praise. He may try to neutralize the compliment by
denying it or feel obligated to return a compliment. If
that happens, reaffirm your sincerity and move on to another
subject.
ADDING FORM AND SUBSTANCE
Besides complimenting the other person, another
way to draw a reluctant speaker into the conversation is
to toss her the ball by asking a question. In addition to
the icebreakers back in Chapter 2, there are four categories
of questions that are effective in social situations. I
use the acronym FORM to remember them:
Family
Tell me about your family.
Does everyone live in the area?
What do you like best about being a
father/mother/son/aunt, etc.?