Small Talk

corporate headquarters. Our immediate supervisor noticed
her and commented frequently on her work. When
the time came for a promotion, she got it and I didn’t. I
simply wasn’t as visible because I was so silent.
I later learned another costly lesson about silence.
My friend Johnnie, a regional director with a Fortune
100 company, dragged me to all her company functions.
Her boss, Bob, a senior vice president, attended these
functions, too. I admired his poise and grace as he easily
conversed with everyone. Bob’s self-confidence intimidated
me so much that I rarely talked with him, despite
my respect for him. Even when he approached me, I was
too nervous to say much.
When I moved into engineering sales, I called on
Bob to reintroduce myself and promote my employer’s
services. Before I could even finish introducing myself,
Bob blasted me, saying, “I can’t believe that you’re calling
me. We’ve been at the same parties a dozen times,
and you’ve ignored me at every one. You’re the biggest
snob I know. I have no interest in buying anything from
you.” Needless to say, I was stunned and horrified by his
reaction. It had never occurred to me that shyness could
be mistaken for arrogance. While shyness and arrogance
are worlds apart, the visible manifestation of each can apget
over your mom’s good intentions . 17