Small Talk

34 . the fine art of small talk
I know I’m not alone in this. After a meeting, a
woman named Julia walked up to me and said, “Debra,
I’ve wanted to tell you something. My name used to be
Debra, also. I used to give presentations for the government.
Invariably, someone would call me Debbie while
asking a question. I hate the name Debbie. Finally, I just
couldn’t stand it anymore. I changed my name to Julia!”
Make sure you use people’s names and get them
right! For instance, I call a client whose secretary answers,
Katherine Winter’s office, this is Susan. I respond by
saying, Hi Susan. This is Debra Fine. May I speak with
Katherine? Notice that I used each person’s name, and did
not take liberties with any of them. Susan is very important
because she represents the gateway to my client. It
would not serve me well to annoy her by slashing her
name to “Sue,” nor would it be helpful to avoid using her
name altogether. Using people’s names shows that you
are interested in them and makes them feel special.
Another example: When I was at the video store returning
a couple of overdue movies, I started talking to
the clerk while we waited for my account details to show
up on the computer. In the course of our brief conversation
I used his name and asked if he had seen every movie
in the store. By the time my late fees showed up on-