Small Talk

130 . the fine art of small talk
cocktail party full of strangers, she is approached by a
gentleman who introduces himself, and asks, And what
do you do? Not wanting to play the small talk game, she
responds sarcastically with In the event of what? A lazy retort
that has become common these days is Back at you!
For instance, I love you, dear. Back at you! This is right up
there with the expression Ditto! as in I truly enjoy spending
quality time with you, which garners the lackluster reply
Ditto. This kind of noncommittal response cheats the
person who first revealed his or her feelings.
Some poor sports simply have never been properly
trained; they don’t know how to ask open-ended questions
themselves. With an outreach program, some of
them show promise. You can help out a poor sport by answering
a closed-ended question as if it had been openended.
For instance, if a poor sport asks, How was your
weekend? don’t just say, Great. What about yours? Instead,
teach by example. Offer, Great. We took the kids skiing and
it was a perfect day. The only glitch was that Mike took a bad
spill, but he’s okay now. You have helped out the poor sport
because you’ve given her lots of material with which she
can ask a related question to keep the conversation from
a reaching a quick demise. You’ve offered information
about yourself that can help bridge distance and create