Small Talk

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90 . the fine art of small talk Interviewing Questions • What has been your most important work experience? When you are getting together with a person you have spent time with before, review some of the particulars you learned on previous occasions. Maybe you discussed the M.B.A. they were working on, or the volleyball league they coach each spring, or the fact that gardening is a beloved hobby. Don’t expect to recall these specifics during a pregnant pause. Instead, prepare yourself! Interviewing Questions • What word would you say describes you best? • Do you have a personal motto or creed? • Do you have any heroes that you greatly admire? • What did people in high school think you were like? • What do you do that you wish you could stop doing?
prevent pregnant pauses with preparation . 91 THE NONVERBAL PART OF THE CONVERSATION One of my favorite exercises when teaching <strong>Small</strong> <strong>Talk</strong> seminars illustrates the point beautifully. I get ten to twelve people in a circle and arbitrarily hand one of them a ball of yarn. That person must hold on to the end of the yarn, disclose something about herself, and toss the ball of yarn to someone else in the group. The recipient must ask a question of the thrower about what she said. The recipient must then tell something about himself, hold on to the string, and toss the ball of yarn to the next person. This continues until every person has had the ball. I love this exercise because the participants discover several things. First, since they don’t know when they’ll receive the ball, they truly listen to what everyone else says. Paying attention is the only way they’ll be able to ask an intelligent question. Second, they learn to focus on asking appropriate, related questions or making appropriate, related verbal cues. Asking appropriate questions and making appropriate comments is one of the easiest ways to keep the conversation chugging seamlessly along. Last, they pay attention to body language, because the
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Contents Preface ix chapter 1 What
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Preface When I first got into the b
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2 Get Over Your Mom’s Good Intent
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11 The Conversational Ball Is in Yo
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15 Holiday Party Savvy Survive the
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Acknowledgments The need for additi
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Small Talk

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