Small Talk

9
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Itravel frequently, small talking my way across the
country. One of the biggest trends I’ve seen is an increase
in “assault on a conversation with a deadly
weapon.” I’ve been victimized myself a couple of times.
You should know that these people are armed and dangerous,
and if they enter your dialogue, you are at serious
risk of witnessing the torturous murder of your conversation.
Stay on your toes; these people are cleverly disguised.
They can orchestrate several costume changes at a
single event and impersonate people in every profession.
If you sense danger, stay calm. Be on the lookout for
these renegades. One further cautionary note: Often, the
worst offenders are staring back at us from the mirror.
I’ve decided it’s time to get more aggressive in pre-