Small Talk

94 . the fine art of small talk
an uncanny coincidence, or an incredible adventure. Find
it and bring it out! Almost anything is a conversation in
the making.
LIMELIGHT ETIQUETTE
There are a few rules to remember as you reluctantly
step into the limelight. You will do fine if you follow this
advice—no one is skulking about with a hook looking to
pull you “offstage.” First, disclose information about
yourself that is comfortable and uncontroversial. Lead
with easy, positive, and light information. Building trust
and intimacy over time creates friendships. Having a
conversation is a little like peeling an onion—you want
to proceed in layers, matching the level of intimacy
shared by your partner.
For instance, suppose your small talking sidekick has
just confessed that, after a long holdout, the realities of
being a soccer parent resulted in their family buying a
minivan. This does not open the door for you to say that
you’ve been recently diagnosed with breast cancer. However,
if the conversation were taking place at the Race for
the Cure, and you were wearing a pink ribbon indicating
that you were a cancer survivor, it would be acceptable to