Small Talk

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50 . the fine art of small talk as little as she wants. These questions demand more than a simple yes or no answer, yet they make no stressful demands. Your partner will decide how much she feels comfortable saying. Such questions are effective with coworkers, kids, neighbors, in-laws, industry colleagues, friends, and when first making the acquaintance of a stranger. The key to successfully using open-ended questions is choosing the right question and then following up with another if it’s needed. For instance, let’s take the toughest conversation partners of all: school-age kids. They make it so difficult to have a conversation, it’s almost an oxymoron to consider them conversation partners. Nonetheless, because they are kids, I give them the benefit of the doubt and hone my skills with my own two kids. I know I haven’t lost my edge when I get them engaged in a meaningful dialogue. My kids come through the door at the end of the day, and I ask, How was your day at school? In stereo, I get back, Fine. Instead of considering that a dead end, I follow up with another question. I inquire, What did you like about it today? My teenage son usually says, I don’t know. I look him right in the eye and tell him, Really, tell me
let’s give ’em something to talk about . 51 about one class you liked today. He thinks about it for a minute. Finally he says, Science. And I inquire, What did you like about science? He launches into a colorful description of an experiment they did, and we’re talking. The bottom line is that you have to open it up, and you have to show you truly care. OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS • Describe for me ... • Tell me about ... • How did you ...? • What was that like for you? • What brought you to ...? • Why?
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the fine art of small talk How to S
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Contents Preface ix chapter 1 What
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Preface When I first got into the b
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preface . xi didn’t know how to k
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preface . xiii commentary on some f
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preface . xv to present themselves.
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preface . xvii 4. I go to at least
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8 Conversational Clout Ido not sugg
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9 Crimes and Misdemeanors Itravel f
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11 The Conversational Ball Is in Yo
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15 Holiday Party Savvy Survive the
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Acknowledgments The need for additi
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Small Talk

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