Small Talk

hearing aids and listening devices . 81
the house. “You promised to help more with household
chores. When do you plan to start keeping your promise?”
I implore. “I am helping out,” Steve replies. “I’ve
been collecting the trash and taking it to the curb every
Thursday.” “That’s it?” I ask. I expected Steve to take on
50 percent of the chores. But instead of clarifying what
he meant by agreeing to my request for help, I assumed I
knew what he meant. He assumed I meant any help
would be appreciated. Men and women will say exactly
the same words and yet mean two entirely different
things. Clarify or paraphrase to prevent misunderstandings
at work and at home.
In an emotionally charged situation, you gain a side
benefit of defusing anger when you repeat the specifics of
what the other person stated. People naturally calm
down when they realize they’ve been understood. Skilled
customer service managers know that by repeating what
an angry customer is saying, they can reduce the level of
hostility. Remaining calm while doing so sends a message
about your own professionalism and poise.
Before expressing apologies, before solving a problem,
let the person know that they have been heard by
repeating the specifics.