Konrad and Alexandra (PDF) - Rolf Gross

"Rost, tonight we have a feast," he announced and busied himself in the kitchen. He was an excellent cook, and thesedinners were true occasions. Leist could easily empty two bottles of wine but never appeared drunk. After dinner Leistwould tell of his many adventures in the Orient. Whether they were all true was of no concern, they were always well told.One morning, made curious by the tales he had heard in St. Petersburg, Konrad ventured into town. He scrambled downthe steep cobblestone lanes to Golovinsky Boulevard, the main thoroughfare of the Russian quarter. Passing the turretednew opera house, the tree-shaded but dusty Alexander Garden, and the ostentatious columns of the Palace of theRussian Viceroy he reached Yerevan Square, the center of the modern town.Unsure of where to continue, he chose a narrow street in the direction of the river and found himself in the crowdedstreets of the bazaar. Throngs of colorful, woolly people jammed the narrow lanes. The entire Orient was present, abewildering Babel of races, faiths, and languages.Soon Konrad was trailed by an aggressive horde of street urchins who, barefoot and ragged, pulled at his clothes andbegged for money. He stopped and tried to shoo them off, but they only laughed. The angrier he got, the worse theytaunted him in languages he could not understand.Obviously this was the wrong method to rid himself of his tormentors. As he stood beleaguered by the children, a kinto, ahawker carrying a fruit basket on his head, rescued him by telling the children to back off. As the man came closer hewhispered with a sweetish leer, "Mister, gogonebi ginda?" and repeating in Russian, because Konrad did not understand,"You want girls, mister? Beautiful girls!"Konrad went purple and tried to shake off the pimp, at which the joker shouted at the top of his voice, "Look people, avirgin, he doesn’t know where to put his cock!"The kinto paused and surveyed the people who had assembled in expectation of good entertainment, and in a low,poisonous voice continued, "Or is he a pederast? He looks so elegant." And raising his voice: "Little boys, mister? Wehave those too, fat little boys, very willing and experienced suckers. Only a ruble an hour!"The crowd laughed uproariously, and Konrad would have liked to vanish into the ground.Fortunately, a troop of walking bushes came galloping down the narrow lane, donkeys hidden under huge loads of greenbranches. Everybody scrambled for safety in the nearest doorways. At the very last moment Konrad squeezed into a rugmerchant’s stall and found himself face-to-face with the elegant gentleman from their trip across the mountains. Theman, with whom he had not spoken a word on their journey, now looked like his savior. With clear comprehension thatfortune had sent him a potential customer, the clever man welcomed Konrad with a smile and made him sit down.Much relieved, Konrad told him of his misfortunes. The man laughed and advised him to learn a few swear words inGeorgian to get rid of the kintonebi. Against the urchins there was little he could do but ignore them.A boy was sent off to fetch coffee. He returned with small cups of a thick, black brew on a brass tablet. The rug dealerintroduced Konrad to the owner of the shop, a heavy-set, older Persian wearing a white prayer cap on his bald head.While Konrad slurped the over-sweetened coffee, the merchant had one beautiful rug after another rolled out before him.The man was very good at his business. He never suggested that Konrad buy a rug, nor did he mention money.Intrigued by the beauty of the pieces at his feet Konrad considered purchasing one of the Caucasian wonders. But hehad left his money at home—in order to not have it stolen by a pick-pocket. So when the talk finally turned to prices,Konrad with an honest, innocent face confessed that he was penniless. The rug merchants thought this to be the bestruse in a long time, and only relented when Konrad turned his pockets inside out. Promising another visit soon, he leftwith an excellent education in Caucasian rugs.The kinto was gone and the urchins had found another victim. Konrad followed two porters, each carrying a heavywardrobe on his back. Their dirty skullcaps, long caftans, and cheap, string sandals showed them to be Azeri from thelowest class. Running in a short, rhythmic trot, bent over to almost a right angle, they were followed by an older Armenianbusinessman, apparently the owner of the furniture, who trotted, breathlessly, behind them.Other porters carried wine in sheepskins that stretched their four amputated legs pitifully into the air.This street was entirely occupied by rug merchants. Around the corner the furniture makers had their shops; then came ablock of tinsmiths hammering away at anything from locks and knives to chain mail, copper pots, brass tables, and waterpitchers.As he neared the river, the filth and dirt in the streets got worse. In open stands butchers and fishmongers displayed theirwares covered by thick swarms of flies. From the basements of the houses wafted the acrid smell of the wine shops. Thestench was overpowering. He was glad to escape from the confinement of the narrow lanes onto the sandy flood banksof the Kura.At a place further upstream he spied caravans of Bactrian camels being unloaded. From a distance the scene lookedexotic, but as he got closer a fierce camel snapped at him and he fled.Late that night, Konrad, with mixed feelings of horror, embarrassment, and fascination, described his adventures.Leist stroked his beard pretending to be in deep thought, but his mischievous eyes were laughing. "Rost, you were trulylucky. That rug dealer would have robbed you blind, had he seen your money. What foresight to leave your purse athome!""The rugs they showed me were truly beautiful and well made. I do know a little about oriental rugs." Konrad said miffed.10