Konrad and Alexandra (PDF) - Rolf Gross

the right of women to own their bodies. Helena, although just as direct as Alexandra, was smoother and less abrasive.An ideal pair.Helena became a frequent visitor to the Rost’s apartment. Her intelligence and cool, north German reserve was muchappreciated by all and especially by Konrad. The one person with whom Helena regularly lost her poise was Tamara,whose radically left-wing position was getting more vociferous with time. The two women would engage in fiercearguments over Lenin’s ideology, which only Konrad with his level-headed sarcasm could calm. Both combatants likedand respected his judgment. Vladimir, not wanting to incite his girlfriend’s temper any further, usually stayed out of thesepolitical discussions. He watched, quietly amused, Tamara’s fireworks, which, like most of Lenin’s slogans, was lesspractical than inflammatory.At first Alexandra had felt responsible for her cousin. After their return from Georgia Tamara had immediately begun topursue her admission to the legal faculty of St. Petersburg University and had succeeded in being admitted in the springof 1908. It had been her idea to major in political sciences. Encouraged by radical friends she met at the university, shesoon developed a strong determination to run her own life, and Alexandra respected that, even if she did not share herpersuasion. Her father had been selectively informed of her academic successes, but was left in the dark about Tamara’spolitics and her increasingly close relationship with Vladimir.Vladimir’s attachment to Alexandra had not escaped Tamara’s intuition and had made her defensive towards Alexandra.Alexandra only learned of the state of affairs between them through Vladimir, who would occasionally ask his olderGeorgian friend for advice on the, to him, often bewildering emotional outbreaks of Tamara.Vladimir was unhappy and frustrated. He had asked Tamara to marry him. She rejected not him, but the institution ofmarriage. At the same time, out of an inherited pride, she exasperated him by refusing to sleep with him.By spring of 1910 their relationship had become tense, until Tamara’s visit to Alexandra’s office. Alexandra, touched byher trust, had given her sober medical advice on how to avoid a pregnancy without mentioning Vladimir or giving her amoral lecture.Tamara’s obvious relief encouraged Alexandra to try to recruit her for her investigation of female fertility cycles. Againstall odds Tamara agreed. Their slightly feminist-tinged conversation improved their relationship. Finally, Alexandrasuggested that Tamara should put her radical beliefs to the test and move in with Vladimir. For a few seconds Tamara,taken aback, stared at her, and then began to laugh. "I thought you were in love with Vladimir and had a secret affair withhim!"Alexandra candidly explained to her that she did love Vladimir, but that she was not engaged in any affair with him. Sheassured Tamara that she was no competitor of hers."Apart from that, according to your philosophical convictions," Alexandra admonished her, "‘free love’ and all, you shouldbe able to allow me to love the same man." Alexandra avoided the word jealousy. Tamara would have to learn how toconquer this violent "bourgeois" emotion on her own.Tamara moved in with Vladimir who rented an apartment for them. Thereafter her relationship with Alexandra greatlyimproved. And Vladimir was elated.In a fever of emotions Vladimir tried writing. He carefully kept his manuscript from Tamara. It had been his condition thathis writing was not part of their living arrangement.Occasionally, he would secretly show up at Alexandra’s and discuss his "Caucasian novel" with her. With Alexandra’shelp he had devised a pseudonym for himself: Nana Gorgadze.Alexandra laughed. "Now you have procured yourself a full license to explore the inscrutable emotions of Georgianwomen. How much you would like to have been born female!"He defended himself angrily against her "off-hand" ridicule. He was entirely comfortable as a man, but writing that novel,he coyly added, might make him a better lover of her wild sister-in-arms. He asked, "Have you read the Vrebitskayapamphlet?"She shrugged, it had turned her off. It was vague, sentimental sleaze, and disappointingly tame when it touched sexualmatters. "Vrebitskaya is a slick professional writer, but she does not dare touch the hot subject of sex with her hands.Maybe you, as an aggressive male, could describe sex more explicitly than she. I mean real sex, not those vague hotflushes Vrebitskaya’s women experience."Uncertain, he stuttered. "Maybe I am too shy to write pornography and not good enough to find the words for eroticsituations. Well-written eroticism is close to poetry, don’t you think?"Alexandra enveighed. "I have not thought much about the finer differences between pornography and erotic literature.Does erotic literature avoid sex altogether or only the mentioning of the sexual anatomy?"Vladimir frowned. "Very few people are able to write first-rate erotic literature. One of them is Robert Musil, acontemporary Austrian writer who describes the growing up of a young man. Very subtle, very beautiful. Sex is nevermentioned, but it is always present. I tried, but I cannot emulate his subtle handling of the complex emotionalrelationships of his characters."She heaved a sigh. "Well, if erotic literature is so far beyond your reach, why don’t you try write a pornographic novel withall uncovered. You will not shock this medical doctor, but you have to be careful in using the right argot or your readers157