Konrad and Alexandra (PDF) - Rolf Gross

to?Mother had never mentioned any deeper insights of this kind, but maybe she had never met a man who had been able toexplain it as Vladimir had to her.She leaned her forehead on the cool window looking out at the passing night. Why do I think like a man who has toanalyze ideas to be satisfied? Why can I not just feel good and teach Konrad my new-found happiness: Look, I will showyou the precious gift I gained from my encounter with Vladimir."Is this not all that is needed in our love?" she said aloud.A catalogue of related questions, unanswerable for the time being, presented themselves to her: Could one have anextra-corporeal experience independently of dying? Could one learn to fly at will by separating one’s "soul" from one’sbody? Probably this would be dangerous. Unless one had a sister to call one back, as in Vladimir’s case, or a newborn’scry as in hers one could easily drift off and not return to one’s body.And why would one want to try to dissociate one’s innermost being in the first place, why risk the dangers of flying?To fly around! To spy on other people! To experience the sensual pleasure of flying! Her own experiences had every timegiven her an immense pleasure."To fly around! To fly around!" she sang.She laughed.A sure way to acquire the knowledge of a jadukali, a sorceress!Otto cried. She picked him up and took him into her arms and showed him the lights that were flying by. She gentlyreturned him to his bed and sang a Georgian song until he fell asleep.She looked at Otto, Konrad’s child, her child, and a wild physical desire overcame her. She wanted another child fromKonrad.If I love this man with all I have, she told herself, I will be able to take him along on my journey, to let him partake of mynew-old, female knowledge.The culmination of her love would be to lead Konrad through the maze of his life and dying with her sensuous powers!Konrad received them in Berlin in a state of happy excitement. "How is it possible that you look even more beautiful thanI remembered!" he whispered in her ear when he held her in his arms.Alexandra looked at her tall man with his graying beard and with unerring intuition knew that he had been with anotherwoman. She smiled at him. "Maybe it is good to be separated from each other at times."Full of childish jealousy Otto pulled at Konrad’s coat demanding a ride on his shoulders. Elisabeth tried to convince Ottootherwise, but he would not be dissuaded. Konrad lifted him up, and the child grabbed Konrad’s hair and babbled awayin a mixture of Russian and German. Alexandra on Konrad’s arm the happy threesome walked through the busy stationfollowed by a smiling Elisabeth and a porter with their voluminous luggage. A taxi delivered them at the Pension whereKonrad had reserved two rooms.After Otto had been given his supper, put to bed, and left in Elisabeth’s care, they ran off exited and laughing. Konradjumped down the stairs two steps at a time, she could hardly follow. On the last step he turned around, caught her in hisarms and kissed her ardently. On the street he put his arm into Alexandra’s and steered her to the subway entrance inthe next block.Konrad talked nonstop about Munich. "You will really like this city, it has a cosmopolitan atmosphere spiced with acolorful, provincial flavor." About Niko and his new girlfriend, "She is a dark, liberated, Jewish beauty who studiesmedicine." On a lecture by Rudolf Steiner, "Katharina took me there together with the entire circle of painters aroundKandinsky, five pretty women. They are hanging on Steiner’s every word. A strange man, I cannot decide whether he is ademagogue, a religious sectarian, or a scientist."Alexandra smiled and nodded. So, it was Katharina. And how amusing that she should have persuaded him to listen to aTheosophist!They had barely reached the platform of the underground when the electric train moved in with a squall of air and adeafening noise."Like in Paris, only more modern. There is a train every five minutes. Quick, get in, the doors close automatically."She jumped in and with a fierce whistle the five cars took off and vanished into the black maw of the tunnel. Thescreeching wheels in the curves and the rattle of the cars drowned out all normal conversation.Alexandra took Konrad by his coat and with an enigmatic smile wiggled her finger through one of its buttonholes."Was it nice to sleep with Katharina?" she asked in Georgian close to his ear.Konrad, shocked, asked, "How do you know?" before the train screamed around another bend in the tunnel and cut offhis words.She smiled into his eyes and gave him a kiss. He got a red face and awkwardly tried to hold her at bay, but no one paidany attention, except for an old woman who, when she got out at the next station, said disarmingly, "I like you two. Havea wonderful night!""Ach, Konrad," said Alexandra with a tentative movement of her hand when they were back above ground, "it is written allover you, that you loved a woman. You are a changed man. I love you," and embraced him.73