Mortified, she hung her head."Alex<strong>and</strong>ra, you wanted to make love to arrogant Vladimir five years ago. I knew from the time you mentioned his namethat you had finally succeeded. What did you learn about him or yourself?"<strong>Konrad</strong> was neither upset, nor made fun of her. He was simply asking the only question that mattered to both of them.Perplexed she lost her concept. She was no longer in control of the situation <strong>and</strong> could not find how to tell him of her newexperience.<strong>Konrad</strong> tried to help her. "Forgive me for putting down Vladimir. You said that he had changed dramatically, did he getmarried or become famous?"Pained by what she perceived was sarcasm, desperately trying to recover her thread, she blurted out Vladimir’s story."He participated in a student demonstration two years ago <strong>and</strong> was shot in the shoulder. He lost a lot of blood <strong>and</strong> was ina coma near death for several hours before his sister helped him to come back." <strong>Konrad</strong> pensive, waited silently for herto continue.The castle came into sight, an unpretentious two story Biedermeier building flanked by two round towers, a rose gardenbetween its horseshoe wings. A bridge spanned the lake.The toads were still calling each other in the bull rushes.She collected herself. "Do you remember the strange sensation of flying I had at Otto’s birth? Vladimir described exactlythe same experience to me, but he had it during this coma. He thinks it was a death experience, <strong>and</strong> ever since I havebeen trying to underst<strong>and</strong> what that means for me. Can a woman experience her death during childbirth? Or, what wouldbe even more astounding, during the euphoria of a strong orgasm? Are such experiences general? Can this happen toanybody under extreme physical stress? Can one learn how to fly?"She sighed <strong>and</strong> looked at him. Uncertain she continued. "Your matter of fact acceptance of my first adultery—aseverybody else would call it—completely derailed me. I answered your question about Vladimir honestly, but I need timeto underst<strong>and</strong> how I can let you participate in the overwhelming consequences of this experience. In a certain way itturned all my emotions upside down."<strong>Konrad</strong>, moved by her plea, finally did what she longed for. He dismounted, helped her off her horse, <strong>and</strong> embraced her.Arm in arm they walked across the bridge to look at the blooming roses in the castle’s garden.On their way back Alex<strong>and</strong>ra was pensive <strong>and</strong> downcast. She berated herself for her urgency to confess her tryst—atleast that was how it appeared to her now, unjustly she knew. She had deprived herself of the possibility to let <strong>Konrad</strong>partake in her new knowledge.But what depressed her even more was that <strong>Konrad</strong> had seemingly lost his newfound spontaneity. Her vacillations hadput them both back onto the old track: <strong>Konrad</strong> the generous, smiling sage, <strong>and</strong> she the frivolous, young temptress."I do believe that my experience with Vladimir has a meaning for both of us, <strong>and</strong> yet I feel guilty."<strong>Konrad</strong> shook his head. "Why should you feel guilty? Because you made love to Vladimir?""No, because I robbed you of the exuberant happiness which Katharina had given you. We are back on the same roadwe were on before, <strong>and</strong> I don’t quite underst<strong>and</strong> how that happened.""Beloved woman," he laughed <strong>and</strong> pointed to the path ahead of them, "don’t you see that I have carefully chosenanother, a new path for us?"23.Their arrival in Munich1904Rumbling, shrouded in clouds of smoke <strong>and</strong> steam, their train pulled into the Hauptbahnhof in Munich. The four travelerstumbled from their carriage, first <strong>Konrad</strong> with Otto in his arm, followed by Alex<strong>and</strong>ra in a magnificent wide-brimmed, softhat, <strong>and</strong> last Elisabeth.Katharina, who had restlessly paced the platform, fell into Alex<strong>and</strong>ra’s arms. She was all smiles, kisses, <strong>and</strong> affection."You know everything! You forgive me!" rejoiced an exuberant Katharina. Alex<strong>and</strong>ra held her tightly embraced. Both hadtears in their eyes. <strong>Konrad</strong> stood aside <strong>and</strong> watched the two women with a shy, embarrassed smile.Katharina freed herself <strong>and</strong> put her arms around him. "But <strong>Konrad</strong> this is marvelous, why are you so mum? I have lookedforward to this reunion with such apprehension. I am so happy to have you both back."Infected by her friend, Alex<strong>and</strong>ra joined the fray <strong>and</strong> put her arms around the two.<strong>Konrad</strong> with his graying beard, immobilized by the crowing Otto on his shoulders, stood between them like a huge,78
patriarchal oak <strong>and</strong> smiled, a little condescendingly, on his two women, while Otto grabbed his mother’s new hat <strong>and</strong>waved it triumphantly in the air.In the arrival hall a breathless Niko came running towards them with a bunch of flowers in all colors shouting from afar."Alex<strong>and</strong>ra! <strong>Konrad</strong>! I am late, but I love you, <strong>and</strong> it is so good to see you. It’s been so long."He held the bouquet high above his head to embrace his sister, then pushed the flowers into her arms."Niko, flowers?"He blushed. "They have such beautiful flowers in the market here. Look all the colors of Bavaria!"<strong>Konrad</strong> had told Alex<strong>and</strong>ra, "I found a large apartment on the top floor of a house on quiet Thiersch-Strasse, very closeto the river. The furnishings are not entirely our taste, but the apartment comes with everything you will need, bed sheets,china, pots <strong>and</strong> pans, even a telephone!"The university had connected him with the owner, Professor Sommerfeld, a physicist who would be on leave for a year tothe Cavendish Laboratory in Cambridge, Engl<strong>and</strong>. It was pure luck, the Sommerfelds had been most pleased to rent theplace with all their belongings to him."So that is where the famous professor lives," exclaimed Niko when they arrived at the place. He explained that he wasthe man with whom he wanted to do his dissertation."He is one of the most respected theoretical physicists. He was only very recently lured to Munich. His institute willbecome a Mecca for theoretical physics.""So you like it in Munich?" asked Alex<strong>and</strong>ra. "And physics has turned out to be the right subject?""Lexako, you have no idea how advanced they are here compared to Russia, <strong>and</strong> everyone is highly excited <strong>and</strong> workslike crazy. Oh, yes, you stirred me out of my Georgian lethargy <strong>and</strong> got me into this adventure." He laughed. "I will neverforget the argument we had that day!"She grinned, <strong>and</strong> teased her beloved brother. "And you have a new, attractive girlfriend, <strong>Konrad</strong> told me."Niko blushed. "Claudia is very anxious to meet you.""Come here," shouted <strong>Konrad</strong>, "they even have an icebox!"They all followed him into the kitchen."You fill this thing with ice blocks which the beer breweries make <strong>and</strong> will deliver to your door. On certain days you cansmell the malt from the breweries all over town."Two of the rooms had mansard windows <strong>and</strong> the master bedroom had a large balcony towards the south."Just like in Tiflis!" commented Alex<strong>and</strong>ra. "Even the furnishings remind me of my parents’ house."<strong>Konrad</strong> suggested that they all have supper in the beer garden at the Chinesische Turm, the Chinese Tower in theEnglische Garten. Fascinated, Alex<strong>and</strong>ra watched Niko nonchalantly pick up the telephone, crank it several times, <strong>and</strong>talk most animatedly into the funnel that had scared her so much. Niko invited Claudia to join them at the beer garden.She smiled at him. "I see, you have learned how to have intimate conversations over the telephone." She shook herhead. "I had an opportunity recently to try that, but I panicked before this black, impersonal hole!"Niko pulled a face at his sister. "Lexako, you have been living in the provinces. You will soon get used to it!"In the long twilight of the warm evening half of Munich seemed to have congregated under the Englische Turm. The longwooden tables under the chestnut trees were crowded with people."This is so much like Georgia!" Alex<strong>and</strong>ra said, touched by nostalgia. "Look, entire families, a mother who nurses herbaby, groups of men, <strong>and</strong> they all talk to each other!"They were sitting on long benches rubbing shoulders—workers, students, academics, men <strong>and</strong> women, children talking,joking, eating—<strong>and</strong> everyone had at least one huge Stein of beer in front of him or her, even the nursing mother."Next time I will bring Otto along!"Katharina <strong>and</strong> Niko finally found a table to share with a family who moved over to make room for them. Alex<strong>and</strong>ra satnext to the young woman admiring her two children."Where are you from, you are not from here," asked the plain-faced woman very directly but not unfriendly."Ach, Anna," said her husb<strong>and</strong>, "leave the strangers to themselves."Anna apologized, but good-natured curiosity lit up her haggard face. Alex<strong>and</strong>ra had difficulties underst<strong>and</strong>ing her, shespoke a strange German.Katharina laughing came to her rescue. She explained in Bavarian that her friends had just arrived from Russia, thatAlex<strong>and</strong>ra was a physician <strong>and</strong> <strong>Konrad</strong> a professor who was going to teach at the university for a year. Anna’s husb<strong>and</strong>’sdark-face changed, <strong>and</strong> in no time, Alex<strong>and</strong>ra had the older boy on her lap examining his ear, which according to hisfather was infected.Alex<strong>and</strong>ra suggested washing it with tincture of camomile <strong>and</strong> arnica. Katharina laughed affectionately: "Frau Doktor inaction! You are doing very well! Mein Gott, so much has happened to you since Florence! Do tell me!"Alex<strong>and</strong>ra described the events of the last four years, Otto’s birth, their expedition to the High Caucasus, the restlesspolitical situation in St. Petersburg, <strong>and</strong> her relentless drive to get through her medical studies. Everybody listened <strong>and</strong>asked questions including Anna <strong>and</strong> her husb<strong>and</strong>Niko <strong>and</strong> <strong>Konrad</strong> had gone to get some beer <strong>and</strong> food <strong>and</strong> returned with Claudia who had been searching for them79
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Table of Contents1. My Grandfather'
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1.My Grandfather's Watch among the
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ditch beside the road.Mother was tr
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Deep snow still covered Djvari Pass
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"But you know nothing about how to
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newborn baby! You won’t need a ba
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Dadiani bent over the table, reache
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Autumn had come to Georgia, and it
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"Gespenstisch!" whispered Mouravi t
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Finally, depressed by his inability
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They slowly rode up the hill north
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On their way back to the Lavra Alex
- Page 27 and 28: Blushing like a young girl, she gav
- Page 29 and 30: Alexandra bowed deeply to a middle-
- Page 31 and 32: All applauded and Ilia made a small
- Page 33 and 34: She had done her hair up in a new w
- Page 35 and 36: ape her. But then he must die, and
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- Page 39 and 40: Alexandra went purple with embarras
- Page 41 and 42: The smell of roasting lamb wafted t
- Page 43 and 44: Konrad quietly sat back. To his gre
- Page 45 and 46: The tall, dark-haired woman began w
- Page 47 and 48: She kissed him."Maybe you dream of
- Page 49 and 50: 14.Tuscany - the Wolfsons' House in
- Page 51 and 52: ut are, unjustly, much more famous.
- Page 53 and 54: Alexandra had fallen into melanchol
- Page 55 and 56: She kissed him tenderly. "Niko, I a
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- Page 59 and 60: months, was flooded with the diffus
- Page 61 and 62: could they be aroused into communal
- Page 63 and 64: 19.An unexpected encounter with Vla
- Page 65 and 66: chauffeur drop me at the station ju
- Page 67 and 68: She described her sensation of flyi
- Page 69 and 70: sky a thin, transparent blue. Imbed
- Page 71 and 72: interest in Theosophy."Marti shrugg
- Page 73 and 74: to?Mother had never mentioned any d
- Page 75 and 76: "Ah, of course, of course, ‘Eine
- Page 77: Konrad agreed that this sounded mor
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- Page 83 and 84: Alexandra disagreed. "Most abortive
- Page 85 and 86: a limited edition, hand-screened ma
- Page 87 and 88: Alexandra touched her necklace and
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- Page 97 and 98: 28.Kandinsky's suprising confession
- Page 99 and 100: With kisses Alexandra removed the v
- Page 101 and 102: He knelt, removed her knee and leg
- Page 103 and 104: Joachim viewed Konrad with sympathe
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- Page 107 and 108: Russia."She picked up a piece of br
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Alexandra not in the mood to give V
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crowd of the fashionable and the ma
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established tradition with some mil
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42.Uncle Muravi's Benz, Tiflis1907"
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equisitioned a locomotive to take t
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meaningless rituals. That may be on
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lacking. I like this man, and at th
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are suitably ambiguous."45.The Dadi
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think of Munich or something else p
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He showed them the room where they
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death."Alexandra was more intereste
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they fought over the offering. The
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flew off cawing.Claudia grabbed Ale
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Together they were hedging out a pl
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the right of women to own their bod
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The Chinese wife of a sinologist at
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these texts."However, Ch'an is the
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times, but moved back together agai
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survived the Bolsheviks, the Fascis
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physically overwhelm her. Despite h
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Konrad picked up Alexandra at the t
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Abruptly her vision had narrowed, a
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the Kwadjagani, the Masters of Wisd
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somewhat, his back was still bent,
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century. The characteristic Chinese
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Alexandra was relieved and happy, a
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subconscious past her observant min
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Dahl leaned back in surprise. "This
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visions reappear. Entire armies mar
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"This method is not easy, I have ne
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He had started with representationa
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His hair had turned completely whit
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Overnight the mood in St. Petersbur
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daughter. His wife had left him no
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which was presented to him—with a
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"From the soldiers whom I took care
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He watched Alexandra’s doubting m
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lond, bony girl whose gray eyes loo
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call it intellectual humanism. It d
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time I asked this question I had me
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"I spent most of the winter of 1918
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We buried him in the cemetery at G
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ways. Corruption became the way of
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68.A Concert in Kreuth - Eliso1989I
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Eliso listened with increasing fasc