Konrad and Alexandra (PDF) - Rolf Gross

Uncle Tarkhan-Mouravi and Aunt Sophia had put in a word with Tamara’s parents. The Chavchavadze had finally givenin, and the match had been made. Since that time her father had the idée fixe that the Chavchavadze thought that theywere ‘better’ than the Dadianis.The circumstances of their courtship, and in particular Deda’s life before her marriage was never discussed before thechildren, but Alexandra had the impression that her mother had been as unruly and nonconformist as she was. In fact,this was one of the main reasons for the impatient resentment Alexandra felt at times towards her mother. Deda oftenappeared unnecessarily severe, unforgiving, and critical of her, and Alexandra naturally felt misunderstood.If Tamunia-Deda had been wild and independent, her mother must have changed dramatically after she married Irakli,because as Deda she was always careful not to question her husband‘s paternal authority, at least not in presence of herchildren or any outsiders.Did Uncle Ilia play a role in her mother’s previous life? Recently she had several times caught indications of such apossibility. Had Tamunia-Deda been married off in order to end a love relationship with Ilia? Now that she herself hadexperienced the power of passion, Alexandra almost felt sympathy for her mother. How terrible it would have been, if herfather had disliked Konrad and would have forbidden her to see him. Even if she thought that she would have attemptedto elope with Konrad, the inevitable break with her family was unimaginable. Maybe she would also have agreed to anarranged marriage.Her mother was almost ten years younger than her father. In the past few years, during which Alexandra had becomemore aware of her parent’s relationship, she had seen her mother chafe under the self-imposed, conventional restraintsof her marriage.Deda often went her own ways these days, which left Irakli impatient and depressed. Alexandra found it prudent to avoidhim on such days. Her father had no part in her mother’s meetings with Persephone. He was uncharacteristically criticalof the Sufi and Shavnabada. Instinctively, because she loved her father, she had taken his side, which had removed herfurther from her mother’s confidences. Alexandra had no idea where her mother went, or what she was doing, when sheoccasionally vanished for entire days.She knew from experience that her mother would not answer direct questions concerning her private life. On severaloccasions Alexandra had tried, it was not done. Nevertheless, now that she was attempting to come to terms with herown role as a married woman, it seemed more important to her than ever before to understand her mother’s hidden past.A procession of motley people walked through the night to Zedazeni, rugged shepherds from the mountains ofChevsureti and Tusheti, many children among them. Some carried torches, others pulled sheep up the hill. One mancarried a baby in a wicker basket.It was Easter night.On his last visit to the Dadiani house, Deda had surprised Konrad with an invitation to an unusual Easter midnight serviceat Zedazeni. Afterwards the family would meet for the Easter morning feast at Olga’s in Zaguramo. Konrad had happilyaccepted.When he told Alexandra of Deda’s invitation, Alexandra had been taken aback. "For many years my mother has gone toZedazeni for Easter service alone, separate from her family. You must understand that for us Easter has the samemeaning as Christmas Eve for you, and that Deda goes to Zedazeni by herself is a serious challenge of family traditions.But Father has equally stubbornly refused to accompany her, and I, too, have never been to Zedazeni at Easter."She paused and looked at him uncertain."When we visited Zedazeni for the first time, do you remember, I told you that the shepherds celebrate a very ancient,pre-Christian rite there on Easter night? Father says that Easter is the day of Christ’s resurrection, and this traditionshould not be debased by heathen rites. So Easter at Zedazeni, like the sema in Shavnabada, has become a subject thatis not mentioned in our family. I have no idea what is going on up there."Konrad told her that he had promised to accompany Deda, but left the decision of joining him up to her.To his surprise, Alexandra, after some hesitation, asked to be taken along. "During the last months I have thought somuch about my mother, that after Shavnabada I would also like to unravel this puzzle with your help. Obviously Deda hasselected you who knows near nothing about our family feuds and who is not Orthodox, to help her open this secret.Please help me to find out why Deda has with such determination insisted to go up there every year."When they were ready to leave Zaguramo for Zedazeni, Konrad could not find Deda. A servant told him that the mistresshad left an hour ago, that they should not search for her, she would look for them after the service. Puzzled Konrad andAlexandra followed the shepherds on the steep trail.Fires had been lit in the great courtyard of Zedazeni, sheep were roasting, large tablecloths had been spread, andeverywhere people were sitting and talking, or just milling around, but nobody ate or drank.Deda was nowhere to be seen.Konrad and Alexandra found a place in the shadows and watched the colorful scene. An old bent over woman with awalking stick, hobbled from fire to fire, and wherever she went people were roaring with laughter. Finally the old cronespied Alexandra and Konrad and slouched over to them. Muttering hoarsely in Georgian she pointed her crutch atKonrad and then moved the index finger in and out of the hollow of her fist in the timeless gesture of copulation.38