Konrad and Alexandra (PDF) - Rolf Gross

Joachim viewed Konrad with sympathetic concern. "You are neither fish nor fowl, neither German nor Georgian, youhave lost some of your roots, Konrad. Is Alexandra homesick?""You are right, and I have no real friend here to whom I could unburden myself. No, Alexandra is not homesick in thestrict sense. She sometimes says that she has never felt so Georgian, but she is so busy discovering unexplored aspectsof herself, that she has no time to be homesick. Besides, being very high, she has found two close female friends withwhom she can discuss her problems. I am no longer her sole confidant as I was in Tiflis and St. Petersburg."He fell silent. This aspect of his remoteness from her had not previously occurred to him. Alexandra was no longer hisone and only student. Claudia had opened new doors to her in music and Katharina the possibility of physical lovebetween women. He had not much to do with these two discoveries.Konrad toasted their Georgian friends and their reunion. He felt the wine go to his head.Joachim left to find Alexandra.Clara put her hand on Konrad’s shoulder. "Come Konrad, may I dance with you? Everything will find a balance and with alittle effort you will keep Alexandra."Konrad let her guide him onto the dance floor. She danced slowly, holding him close. Her warmth was good.When they returned Konrad collapsed in a chair, and Clara, sitting next to him, very gently stroked his head which hadsunk on the table.Joachim returned with Alexandra who was concerned but not disconcerted. She knew how to handle a drunk tamada.She bent over the collapsed shape. "Konrad, wake up its I, Alexandra. Please take me home."Konrad raised his head, and looked at her. "Alexandra wears a Tcherkassian dress, you are not her."Alexandra sat down with hanging arms. "He is right. I changed costumes with our friend Katharina, who wanted so badlyto turn into an Oriental woman for one evening and, I suspect, had in mind to play a trick on Konrad. What a terriblemess."Joachim, laughing heartily, saved the embarrassing situation. "You have got the three of you into a true Georgian farce,two women, one drunk tamada, and lots of melodrama."Alexandra removed her mask and feeling hot opened the high collar of Katharina’s blouse. "Konrad, mein Liebster, this isKatharina’s dress which she lent me. She wanted to be a Georgian woman for one night. I am Alexandra. Please wakeup and let’s go home."This time Konrad sat up and rubbing his eyes and aching head looked at her and saw the necklace in her décolleté.He fell on his knees before her, buried his head in her lap, and sobbed frightfully. "Can you ever forgive me, Alexandra? Iwas so unhappy without you, and now I am drunk. I love you above anything."They woke around ten next morning. Konrad went downstairs to get the newspaper. He came running up the stairs, paleand breathless. "Alexandra, read this."He held up the front page.St. Petersburg, Monday, the 23rd of January 1905BLOODY MASSACRE.GOVERNMENT FORCES PUT DOWN PEACEFUL DEMONSTRATION.THOUSANDS FEARED DEADYesterday a group estimated at ten thousand people carrying icons and church banners marched towards the WinterPalace under the leadership of a revolutionary priest to present a petition to His Majesty the Tsar. The police beganshooting. Dead and wounded lay strewn in the snow on Dvortsovaya Square. Later the police opened fire on gatheringselsewhere in the city. The dead are still uncounted. Emperor Nicholas II is reported to have shrugged. "The godlessrabble must be put down without mercy." The country and the world are in deep shock."My God, Konrad, I should be in St. Petersburg. Can you imagine the thousands of wounded?""No," he said dryly, "Thank God, you are here. You might have been one of the dead."They imagined the persecutions that would now follow as the government attempted to put the blame on someone otherthan the leaders and troops of the Ministry of the Interior. Konrad and Alexandra realized that their knowledge of thepreceding events was too scanty to clearly envision what had happened and what the consequences would be. MaybeJoachim could tell more.Alexandra, tears streaming down her face, tried to call. The hotel concierge told her that the von Bredows hadunexpectedly left by train for Berlin at seven that morning. Their luggage was still at the hotel, he was expecting themback later in the week.With the afternoon mail a note arrived from Clara. The foreign ministry had convened all their available correspondents todiscuss the situation in Russia. Hopefully, if the developments in Russia did not get worse, they would be back in a fewdays.A depressing, gray overcast covered the sky. Since the early morning it had snowed heavily.103