Konrad and Alexandra (PDF) - Rolf Gross

"But you know nothing about how to buy one in this environment. However, congratulations, you made a very elegantopening move. They, of course, thought you were bluffing. On your next visit they will treat you with high respect, andwhen you have finally bargained the price of your favorite beauty down to what you are willing to pay, they will see youoff with tears in their eyes. No matter how cheap you think you bought it, these rogues have made at least a sixty percentprofit."Leist scratched his head and put on a serious mien. "You see, in principle, bargaining is easy. Depending on whether themerchant looks honest or not, you offer half to one-third of the asking price. It is a game, and the longer you draw out thedrama, the happier everyone will be. The clever acting of the players in this drama distinguishes a good bargain from abad one."Two days later, as they shared a droshki on the way to the faculty banquet in Ortachala, Leist said, "For me Ortachala isan ominous place. Everybody considers this village the locale to have fun, eat and drink, and to cavort with the girls, whoare a little notorious but no worse than elsewhere."Leist’s seriousness was not a put-on; there was apprehension in his voice as he continued. "Every time I come here thedead rise from the ground and affect my emotional balance. Until 1864 Cherkesses, Yezidi, and other Muslim minoritiesused to live here. In that year the Christian Russians chased the Cherkesses en masse to Turkey. For years the placewas deserted. Eventually the Tiflis pleasure girls and brothels moved into the haunted houses. I can never completelyshake off visions of the beautiful Circassian women who once lived here." He shuddered with an embarrassed laugh.The rural area of orchards and vegetable gardens on the banks of the Kura was lovely. Among the gardens nestled anumber of wooden houses surrounded by balconies and long tables where entire families in their colorful Sunday bestwere eating, singing, and drinking the good wine that flowed freely from skins the size of calves. A spigot had beenmounted in one of their legs. Wine spurted from them like fountains.The three phaetons came to a halt at the Eldorado Gardens. A lively band of three wild-looking musicians received them,wearing peaked caps, rugged coats over narrow pants, and soft, strangely curved, pointed boots. They played two highclarinets and a small drum.Laughing and joking, the serious professors complimented each other from their carriages. A full-bosomed hostessreceived each of them with three kisses and led them to their table under a mighty apple tree.Konrad had heard much about the grandes tables of Georgia, but this scene exceeded his imagination. On a white tablecloth two dozen platters with food he did not recognize had been arranged around the pièce de résistance, a gaudilydressed, roasted suckling pig, with protruding red cherry eyes, a glazed apple between its teeth, and a garland of ediblegreens and flowers. Young boys brought plates piled high with wheels of flatbread and airy squares of cheese-filledpastry. A battery of bottles, raki, wine, and mineral water rose from among these culinary riches.With much bantering, a white-haired gentleman with penetrating blue eyes, an aristocratic nose, and a handlebarmustache was elected tamada, toastmaster and head of the table. Leist introduced him as Prince Irakli Dadiani,professor and head of the Georgian literature department at the Gymnasium. The congenial man greeted Konrad influent German.Konrad sat between Leist and Dadiani, who raised his glass and offered a long and well-worded toast in Germanculminating in the wish that Konrad would come to love Georgia as much as Leist did. Leist smiled pleased and clinkedglasses with Konrad shouting: "Gagimadjos Sakartvelo! Long live Georgia!"Konrad made a short, serious speech. He thanked them for their hospitality and gregariousness and then, feeling that hewas too heavy-handed for the prevailing mood, he toasted the beautiful Georgian women he hoped soon to meet. Hehad hit on the right subject and was applauded enthusiastically.The next toasts cheerfully commemorated all women dead or alive who were absent at their gathering, their mothers,daughters, and sisters with a considerate mention of Konrad’s mother.After this emotional passage, Dadiani, with everybody’s advice, filled Konrad’s plate with helpings of the various dishes: asquare of khachapuri, a cheese pastry, cold chicken in walnut sauce, carrots filled with walnut farce, two kinds of fish withvarious herb-laced sauces, spinach laced with walnut puree and pomegranate seeds, aromatic Georgian greens, eatenraw without a dressing, and a generous cut of the crisp suckling pig served with a spicy red sauce sprinkled withpomegranate seeds. Konrad, who had imagined the Georgian kitchen to be highly spiced, was surprised by the delicateand sophisticated flavors.They started around five o’clock. By eight spontaneous singing erupted. The professors’ voices were surprisingly good.The tamada would sing a verse and the others join in the refrain. The pentatonic melodies sounded strangelymelancholic and doleful to Konrad’s ears.Overcome by all the good drink and the heavy walnut preparations Konrad excused himself. Behind a wall he found astinking, abysmal row of dirty holes in the ground over which squatted three other guests. Disgusted, he urinated in theprivacy of the dark orchard.An overpowering desire for sleep made him lie down under a nearby tree.An hour later Leist found him there. "Mein Gott, Rost what are you doing here!" shouted Leist shaking Konrad. A11