Konrad and Alexandra (PDF) - Rolf Gross

"Occasionally, I have used what is called laying on hands. In this method of healing I do feel something like energy, heatas it were, pass through my hands. But I have found that these healings are not permanent. In most of my successfulhealings I do not feel energy being transferred to the patient. However, inside myself I am in a highly exalted emotionalstate which leaves me exhausted afterwards."Claudia looked up from her scribbling. "You mean the healing of that first man’s arthritis in Svaneti may not have beenpermanent?""I have not seen him again, but on later occasions I have found that my laying on hands produced only temporary relief. Inow use it only very rarely. If I try to give a name to the healing procedure you witnessed in St. Petersburg, I would call itsuperposition."Healing by superposition requires a drastic dissociation of the healer. Part of me leaves my body and envelops the illperson. This dissociation is the dangerous moment in the process, and its control requires careful preparation."She described how she sat cross-legged on the floor and the patient in a chair with a newspaper."In the beginning I quiet the noise in my head and attempt to empty my mind completely. This requires practice. Weconstantly talk to ourselves. For this purpose I use breath-counting, one of the simplest meditation exercises. Iconcentrate on counting my exhalations from one to six and again from one. This exercise now takes me five minutes."In control of my inner chatter and completely relaxed, I turn my attention onto the patient. Gocha and other shamansdescribe the process of dissociation which now follows as flying. I find this description highly appropriate. I read somerecent investigations by Siberian shamans. Like Gocha, some of them talk of two souls a shadow-soul and a breath-soul.The shadow-soul carries all emotions and powers of the shaman. It can separate from the body and can fly. It effects thehealing. The breath-soul stays with the healers physical body. If it leaves, the healer dies."Dahl interrupted her. "I find this comment new. The term flying and the distinction between shadow-soul and breath-soulare not used by any of the faith healers whom I have interviewed. You say these are common shamanic terms. I do notknow the literature of shamanism. Are the shamanic investigations you used scientific and generally available?""The newest is an exhaustive review in English of the extensive Russian research of the past years. I read it inmanuscript. Written by a Polish anthropologist, Marie A. Czaplicka, it will appear early next year at Oxford UniversityPress. I also talked with my mother and Aunt Sophia about my experiences in Svaneti, and they used very similarGeorgian terms. Flying has nothing to do with healing, it is just a means to an end. I first experienced flying during Otto’sbirth, long before I knew how to heal. Claudia must have told you of this experience.""No," injected Claudia, "I mentioned that you had such an experience, but I did not describe your birth experience tofather. I felt that this was your very personal secret which only you should reveal."Alexandra briefly described her visions during delivery. "Later I learned that a male friend who had been very close todeath had very similar experiences. Apparently ‘flying’ also accompanies dying."Dahl put his glasses, which he had continued to play with, back on and peering over Claudia’s shoulder at the transcriptasked, "So you believe that meditative exercises are the prerequisite for healing?"Alexandra waited silently until he once again faced her. "Yes, and I would teach my students intense meditation first.Meditation opens a treasure of existential insights, which suddenly surface from one’s subconscious and which wecannot normally hear or see because of the verbal noise in our head. All of a sudden one experiences answers to suchage-old questions as ‘what is the meaning of life?’ or ‘what is dying?’"Dahl peered over his reading glasses at Alexandra and slowly took them off. She saw that he was annoyed at this newdiversion.With a trace of sarcasm in his voice he asked. "Alexandra, this is a very private question. It detracts from our subject, butwould you care to tell us what you experienced as the meaning of life?""I do believe that these death experiences are intimately connected with the mechanism of spiritual healing, although Icannot yet say how. To answer your question, I have been misunderstood nearly every time I voiced the answer. Themeaning of life is to learn to die. Living and dying are mutually complementary states of one and the same entity, forwhich we have no name. The Buddhists call it the Void, or the Great Emptiness. The object of the Sufi dances, which youwatched in Tiflis, is this insight."Dahl remained silent for a while. He put his glasses aside and lowered his eyes. "Alexandra, this answer is profound andentirely unexpected. Let us end our work for the day. I need to think for a while."That weekend Mrs. Dahl asked Alexandra whether she would join them at a concert on occasion of the secondanniversary of Mahler’s death. Richard Strauss would conduct Mahler’s Sixth Symphony, possibly his happiest and mostunified work.The concert hall, its walls and ceiling painted with mythological murals of the deeds of Herakles, was crowded with theintelligentsia of Munich. Strauss gave a speech praising the towering genius of twentieth century music, and a softspokenAlma Mahler read a tearful commemoration of her husband.From the first few bars Alexandra, who had expected another Farbensymphonie, was overwhelmed by the music. Shedid see her usual colors but, at the same time, the ominous marches of the first movement made all her foreboding184