specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
the property or to manipulate them when they receive money for taking
care of the child”
- Emotional violence, neglect: “The majority leave abroad, come home,
send money, repair their house but forget about their parents, about
their mother… If you forget your mother then your own children will
forget you, there are certain things that you have to do and it’s better to
refuse a repair than to forget about your parents”.
BOX 13
Case Study. The abuse on the elderly by their grandchildren
(FG_EE_urban)
“I know an old lady who was in need of financial support, when I was filing her
social benefit sheet for financial support she started crying saying that one
night her grandsons came to her… She lived in a one room apartment and
her grandsons who were living in a two-room apartment that she gave to her
daughter, came at about 12 am, tied her to the bed and took her last 1000 lei,
then they took the money, untied her and left. The old woman kept that money
for her medicine. They told her not to tell anyone about it, not even her daughter
or son-in-law, because something might happen to her”.
The elderly are mistreated by their own children or close relatives and
are totally helpless. Sometimes the victimization of the elderly is shown
through neglect, emotional, physical and economic abuse. There are cases
when lonely elderly help each other compensating for some unsatisfied
needs. For example, an old woman told us that her present spouse was
sent to her by the representatives of local public administration, because
he had no place to live. “Oh well, now that I’m old I have a spouse... Vasile. He
has been here for over a year. His daughter chased him away because he sold
his house and he went to live with her in Cahul. But she sent him to a grandchild
who chased him away... Nobody wants an old man… He returned to
Hîncesti because he was born here… and he wants to die here” (III_E_5).
In conclusion it can be stated that the relations of the elderly with their
children who are abroad are maintained sometimes through communication
and financial support. Still there are cases when their relationship is
dropped. The elderly do not have exaggerated expectancies towards the
financial support provided by their migrant children and frequently rely
on their common sense. Still, the study highlights the existence of family
violence as the elderly are abused by their grandchildren, relatives, neighbours
or strangers.
• Relations with their peers
The old age can lead to a decrease of social relations as the elderly are more
suspicious when they make new friendships and more cautious in coming
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