specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

Psychological and social effects of migration
2000 she was given a family home, she repaired it and then she called home and
said that she was coming back to take her kids to Moscow. She got lost on her
way back home and there has been no news about her since then, she is neither
in Moldova nor in Moscow. She was a good and caring woman, but she simply
got lost on her way to Moldova” (FG_EE_urban). The state of uncertainty
regarding their migrant children can be associated, in this context, with the
loss of identity and with a confusion of their parental role, their financial security
and that they are in need of significant psychological adjustment. The
impact of a long-term loss of contact with their children can be associated
with the loss of psychological well-being.
The intense fear of losing their children who are abroad is being confirmed
by a lot of the elderly: “I wake up at night and I think “My God, just don’t let
them bring her in a coffin, I always fear she will get killed, or beaten to death
as she’s always so sick and I fear her coming back ill or worse...”(III_E_12).
Another source of negative emotions constitutes the risk situation the elderly
with their children abroad have to face which increases their vulnerability.
The study revealed that communication and relations the elderly
have with their biological or extended family members is often marked
by violence and feeds the negative emotions existence. According to the
collected data, negative emotions produced by abusive situations are accompanied
by frustrations the elderly experience, which are caused by
the fact that their aggressors are close people.
Thefts, robberies and swindles cause long-term psycho-traumatisms for
the elderly left alone as a consequence of their children’s migration. These
experiences feed a state of stress, heightened emotions, frustration and
a variety of resentments related to these crimes being committed by their
family members: “When I was going out, to a store or anywhere else, she
simply used to come in and take my shampoos and other things. I was not
at home and she just took them! There is no one else who could do it. I am
sure it is her, Catalina, my granddaughter. She used to steal small things”
(III_E_ 13). The elderly aged 76 says that her granddaughter’s delinquent
behaviour is directed by the suggestions of other extended family members:
“Go to your grandma, she’s richer and she has a lot of things” (III_E_13).
When these events are being reproduced, the trauma is being externalized
and sharply experienced by the elderly left behind as a consequence of
children’s migration. The fact that the situation is tolerated is explained by
the elderly in the following manner “The son-in-law… who else? I know his
hands were not clean, but he was one of ours, what could I say..? I didn’t
want my girl and grandchildren to be defamed…” (III_E_9).
In order to avoid the feeling of collective shame, some elderly conceal the
delinquent behaviour of their family members on purpose, silently suffer-
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