specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

Psychological and social effects of migration
strangers, people turn their backs at them…, but here there are three of us
and we support each other while the person who left must be very lonely and
stressed”; ,,They suffer because they worry about their children left alone”;
,,They are continuously stressed because at any moment they may get a call
and find out that their child has burnt down the house” (FG_C_2_rural).
If talking about mothers who raise their children alone as a result of paternal
migration some behaviour changes are noticed. A mother tends to
support her child, considering him/her as an emotional support, thus involving
him/her in adult interaction structures for which the child is not
sufficiently prepared: ,,I don’t want to have a father, I got used to my mother.
I know that the two of us are getting along, and I do not need anybody else
to come and tell us what to do. We are not used and we know what to do
without somebody else telling it to us” (FG_C_2_rural). Children cannot
express their feelings and conflict emotions; nevertheless they can demonstrate
various forms of “hidden” reactions, which might result in some
nervous behaviour.
The stories told by the interviewees prove that children experience negative
emotions caused by their parents’ departure abroad which also deprived
them of certain customs, values and important family habits: ,,I
remember that when I was sick as a young child my mom cooked something
and my father just comforted me and I remember that when he left I got
sick and asked “where’s my daddy? I want my daddy back!”, and then I
called him and we talked and he calmed me down and I got better” (III_C_
2); “he doesn’t call us or send us any parcels and he doesn’t tell us where he
is… We talked on the phone really long ago… He is not calling us anymore.
He did not even call me on my birthday. My aunt always congratulates me
and Lady Helen (another aunt) made me a cake. I could not blow all the
candles. Only two of them left” (III_C_12). These examples prove that
parental behaviour has an inconsistent and unpredictable character and
the attachment has an alarming character. Besides, children undertake
inadequate models of domestic relationships that risk to be re-applied in
their future families.
The emotional condition of children left behind as a consequence of migration
sometimes overpasses the limits of emotional balance. Thus, some
experts stated that: “children whose parents are abroad are very violent and
aggressive and display undesirable behaviour” (FG_EC_urban).
Not all the children can cope with their situation. The respondent confessed
to the interviewer that she had recently an abortion and she does not feel
good. She got pregnant with her boyfriend whom she dates for a couple of
years and this, according to her, is her second abortion. She passes through
an acute state of uncertainty, fear, anxiety as well as the awareness of her maturity
in taking decisions. The need for emotional and maternal support is
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