specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

Psychological and social effects of migration
my mom told my grandmother that it is hard for me here. During the first 3
months, my little sister used to disobey me... I had to come from school and to
cook and I was hungry... it was so difficult... We did not have time to talk, but
it got better when spring came, as I did not have so many things to do. When I
would come from school there was only the cleaning, cooking that I had to do,
and to take care of my little sister, whereas in winter I have a lot of work to
do… It is also harder because during winter I have to light the fire and do the
laundry. It’s easier during summer because I take the laundry outside and let
it dry there but in winter it is very tough.” A total transfer of home tasks can
be observed as well as parental roles on the shoulders of an adolescent who
in addition is trying to explain her grandparents’ emotional coldness and
indifference by saying “I’m not the one they love most”. The girl explains her
grandparents’ indifference and anger by the fact that she does not fulfill
their expectancies to get help from their granddaughter: “I didn’t fight, they
are old and they need our help, but there’s no way for me to manage it”. We
can notice a role reversal between children and caregivers as an effect of
distorted perception of the reality. Caregivers refuse to get involved in their
grandchildren’s help saying they are old and children avoid accusations by
totally and independently minding their own business: “I would prefer to
do it by myself than to ask her. When I asked her to take my sister to the kindergarten
she had reminded me about that for a long time saying that she is
old and so on and so forth, that’s why I try not to ask her anything. She helps
me, but she always reminds me about that and I don’t like it” (III_C_21).
The results of the study prove that a lot of children left behind are in a difficult
relation with their family members/caregivers, are partially or totally
deprived of moral security, some of them in risk situations of becoming
vulnerable.
• The relationship with their peers
Relationship with their peers is a dominant activity in psychological and
personality development. The study reveals the absence of strong friendships
among children left behind which constitutes a problem. Some children
show their lack of interest for friendships, as they prefer a lonely and
quiet life: “I don’t really have friends. They are not the old ones, but I did not
make any new ones. There is only my boyfriend. I knew him since we have
been both little and my parents have left” (III_C_17).
Some children did not establish any friendship relations since their
parents have left abroad. As a consequence of their separation from the
parents they extrapolate their negative emotions after they changed their
residence: “When I lived in Nisporeni I liked my school, it was interesting, I
got along well with my classmates but since we have moved to the village I
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