specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

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CHAPTER I who have not yet made a decision regarding their education are quite young. • Social representation of future family and values that lie at its bedrock Children of a tender age usually referred to their future in the nuclear family saying they want to live together with all members: “Together with my mother, my father and my brother” (III_C_19). Elder children described the family they would have speaking about the relationship between members, the number and the sex of the children, and the importance of material welfare and providing a decent living. Children interviewed during the research refer to the family frequently, speaking about their plans for the future, stressing its importance, the values it promotes and the social security that the family should ensure. This can be explained by the sad experience of separation from their parents that made them think about the role of family and assess its’ role for a child. The large majority of children stress that they see their future family as a solid union where all will work together and under no circumstances will separate “I will not go abroad” (IIA_C_1). Some of them are fully convinced that: “I will never leave my children as I know how difficult it is. I will always say how much I love them; I will try to help them solve their problems” (III_C_19). The focus-group participants mentioned that they would set up a family only when: “I will finish my education and will have a permanent job” (FG_C_2_rural), in order to reduce the risk of an eventual separation they experienced in their childhood. Some of the respondents would accept to live modestly but together with the family: “better less money but with my family” (III_C_15). These statements are important especially in the case of parents who left abroad just to make provision for their children. The study revealed also some specific situations amongst which we present the case of a 17 year old girl living in the countryside with both parents abroad and left in her aunt’s care. For this child the effects of her parents’ migration were extremely harsh: her relationship with her parents worsened and she had poor communication with her aunt. Being asked about the social representation of her future family, it is unsurprising that she mentioned: “I don’t think it will be a happy one...only conflicts and misunderstanding...I would mend the faults I’ve made because of my boyfriend...I would oppose my parents’ departure 182
Values and life plans abroad as I don’t like the life I have and I can’t solve the problems by myself ” (III_C_17). For most of the interviewed children the family sets examples of communication and behaviour. Although social representations of the family differ depending on the children’s age (for younger children – as an example is the nuclear family and for the elder ones – the family they will create themselves), the family is perceived as a unit that supports everybody, even in difficult situations. It is important that some of the children would like to live with their family although there is a risk to live plainly. The elderly • Values of the elderly people The elderly people appreciate the traditional family, where grandparents and parents express their love, concern and support for their children and the children should feel their parents’ loving union and all the responsibilities they have towards their children. “I was considering myself so rich when I was coming home from work, I was working in 5 villages...I was longing to see all my children sound and happy jumping around me and searching my pockets for candies or sweets” (III_E_5). The respondents sketch the model of the traditional family and not the model of “the family at distance”: “if all my children come back home we would have a dinner together. I hope to feel well and to see them safe and sound” (IIA_E_6); “I would like to have them all together here in the town, nearby” (III_E_8), an understanding of the traditional family responsibilities: to raise children, to take care of old people, are more often neglected. These are shared among other social institutions that do not give them love and affection. The study stresses the fact that most often the remittances do not have a significant value for the elderly. The desire to have their family near and to reach the old age taking care of grandchildren is a real option for the elderly: “Although children have good jobs, and send them parcels and money monthly, they don’t need all this but want to be supported and to have the child near” (FG_EE_urban_rural). The importance of the native home, so valued in our tradition is stressed especially by institutionalized old people: “no where is like home”; “it is better at home”, as their stay in an asylum and the absence of everything they inherited or worked for all their life is painful. The fact of becoming aware of this situation is veiled with accept- 183
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SPECIFIC NEEDS OF CHILDREN AND ELDE
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CONTENTS Foreword .................
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Foreword quence of migration and in
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List of boxes List of boxes Box 1 B
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Executive summary elderly adjust to
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Executive summary • To develop fo
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Executive summary For private servi
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Executive summary - To offer inform
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Executive Introduction summary grat
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Methodology Executive Introduction
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Chapter I The lack of care and affe
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The perception of labour migration
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Psychological and social effects of
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The perception Children’s of labo
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The health of family members The in
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The health of family members The in
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Page 189 and 190: Normative aspects tection the child
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Conclusions and recommendations (in
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Conclusions and recommendations sum
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Conclusions and recommendations inf
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Conclusions and recommendations - T
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Conclusions and recommendations - T
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Annexes Code Age Sex Residence envi
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Annexes Annex 4. Data on focus grou
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Annexes Annex 8. Certificate for th
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