specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

Psychological and social effects of migration
of their mother abroad with betrayal, running from home: “When she
had to leave I told her that I have to go to school… and I asked her: “mom,
if you want to leave wait for me, because I finish school at 2 and I’ll
come… And you’ll make up your mind then if you want to leave or not.”
But when I came my mom was not at home. And I felt so bad… I cried…”
(III_C_11). An adolescent current aggressiveness, behaviour distortion
can be also explained by his internal protest against the departure of
his mother and is being caused by the lack of maternal affectivity and
warmth and continuous communication deprivation. While looking for
answers to the cause of parental leaving and an eventual returning back,
children express their severe need to communicate with their mother:
“I wanted to talk to my mom so many times and I call her but she doesn’t
pick up the phone. I still keep asking her why she left and she tells me that
she cannot tell me why because I’m too small to understand it, and she
also told me that there are things that I should find out in man-to-man
talks…”(III_C_11). A mother’s departure is sharply felt through regret
and anger.
Emotional deficiencies caused by parental migration explains the deviant
behaviour of the adolescent: “You see, it’s much better when my mom is at
home, there is somebody to talk to and to support you”, “I always miss her,
when I’m doing nothing too, even today, even at school. I just don’t show it,
but I always miss her, even when I play PC games, I miss her and I want to
see her” (III_C_11). His grandmother finds an explanation for the psychological
self-harm, severe pain with aggressive outbursts of her grandchild
oriented towards other people is caused by him missing his mother and
painful separation: “I do understand him, it’s not totally his fault, life made
him this way. His mother left him when he was only 4, and he didn’t have…
I mean he had everything, he went to kindergarten and then to school and
everything, but he didn’t have the maternal warmth and he wants to revenge
now” (III_E_8). Besides, the grandmother accuses her daughter that
she abandoned her child, mentioning how much the child misses his mom:
“It’s not that I hate her, but she just left this child alone he has no support…
he’s looking for comfort... We dig in the garden and then I run after him to
catch him, well… we play once in a while, if somebody we’ll see us would
think “That old lady is crazy!” But he says “Grandma, let’s play!” We just sit
for an hour or so and we talk, and he asks me to tell him stories of my life
and I tell him stories...” (III_E_8). The adolescent has the same contradictory
attitude. When his mother comes home “he just sticks to her, but
afterwards “I do not want to hear anything about her and I do not want
to see her!” (III_E_8).
• School is another important educational factor that favours children’s
learning and internalizing the norms and regulations of a behaviour approved
by the society. The feminization of the teaching staff, the lack
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