specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

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CHAPTER I thus they do not share their problems and are not interested about each others situations. Children think they cannot discuss their problems with their parents because “… they don’t understand anything and I’m not discussing my problems with them…” (III_C_17), or they explain the situation by saying that their parents “have their own problems”, that absorb their lives and thoughts too much, hindering the possibility to understand their children’s problems. The discontinuity of the relationship with parents can degenerate and lead to serious issues; one example is presented in Box 3. BOX 3 Case study. Poverty as an essential cause of migration (III_E_12) Ana, 62 years old, from a rural area, is taking care of her 2 small grandchildren, she says: “She had no money to feed her children. My smaller daughter was not married at that time but the other one was married. Her child was so small, he was less than a year old and they lived really badly. Her husband who died had used to take their elder boy to relatives to feed him. But she, she was starving with the little one at home. She used to tell me, before she left: “Mom, we are starving”. There was the season of corn and they used to boil and bake it. And she also told me that they had a neighbour who had some puppies that were so fat and she was going there every night to steal one of the puppies and kill it, boil it and eat it.” The grandmother said that the mother of the children rarely calls her. She got married abroad and has another child there. Although her new husband beats her she does not want to come back home. According to children, their parents are generally aware of the problems their family members have with little difference depending on the gender of the migrant parent. The study estimated specific development cases related to the way parents perceive problems, thus, on one hand, there are parents who, although they understand problems their children have, still decide to continue their migration process, on the other hand, the migration process acts as a coolant in the relationships between family members. The elderly • The level of accepting/rejecting migration Factors that lead to the development of a positive or negative parents’ attitude towards their children’s migration are mainly determined by the status and age of the elderly, his/her self capacities, the existence of grandchildren they have to look after while their children are abroad, the reasons for their children’s migration and the value of the remittances they transfer home. When the social status of the elderly is valued, the respect for their contribution to the development is present and there are cases when children 30
The perception of labour migration ask their parents permission to go abroad: “they asked for advice before leaving “mother, if we don’t go we’ll die of hunger, I have to go to make some money”(III_E_2); “of course it wasn’t only about me letting them go... but also about taking care of their children” (III_E_9). This shows the migrants taking into consideration their parents advice and also using their ability to care for their grandchildren. Similar situations can be identified in the case of the elderly placed in residential institutions: “... of course she asked me about it. She could not leave just like that. But I wouldn’t stop her as she has to live on something …” (FG_E_4_rural_asylum). In families that place a lower value on the social status of their elderly, children do not coordinate their leaving abroad with parents: “She did not ask me, I found out about it when she was already there...” (III_E_15), the fact being announced post-factum. This action is hardly tolerated by the elderly because the feeling of social uselessness and abandonment are increasingly present: “she even took her daughters and husband with her. Since then I do not know anything about them. They left for money! (She raises her voice in anger) Money, money... What else for? And nobody asked me anything about it. I found out about it when she was already there...” (III_E_15). The elderly greatly regret this: “... I feel angry that all of them left... that if the two of them would remain in Sadova, I would have known that they are with me... even if it’s rather far, but would felt that they were with me... and they are not... the only thing I can do now is to cry...” (III_E_10). This situation is characteristic to the institutionalized elderly: “my daughter did not do well when she left, I cried a lot, ... she stopped calling me a year ago, there’s no one to come to see me, I have no one”; “what they did is not right, she should have stayed home, why did she leave me alone” (FG_E_3_urban_asylum). At the same time, the data reveals that although the elderly are not asked (especially the ones who are placed in residential institutions), they still try to protect and to justify their own children’s actions: “no, they didn’t ask me anything. They just said that they have their own families and they are leaving to make some money to raise their kids... On one hand I can agree with them, on the other…” (FG_E_3_urban_asylum). This is probably determined by the aspirations to return home and the lack of desire to recognize an obvious fact that he/she is institutionalized and there is no one to take care of him/her. There is also a dependency between the age of the elderly, their independency and the level of acceptance of the children’s migration. The age, reduced capacity to take care of themselves, chronic and severe diseases, limited access to medical and social services which lead to the fact that parents show little acceptance of their children’s migration: “to ask me about it? If I’d said “no” she’d say “give me some money, mom” (III_E_6) and discontent for their situation. This dissatisfaction towards the migration 31
Page 1 and 2: SPECIFIC NEEDS OF CHILDREN AND ELDE
Page 3 and 4: CONTENTS Foreword .................
Page 5 and 6: Foreword quence of migration and in
Page 7 and 8: List of boxes List of boxes Box 1 B
Page 9 and 10: Executive summary elderly adjust to
Page 11 and 12: Executive summary • To develop fo
Page 13 and 14: Executive summary For private servi
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Page 19 and 20: Methodology Executive Introduction
Page 21 and 22: Chapter I The lack of care and affe
Page 23 and 24: The perception of labour migration
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Psychological and social effects of
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The perception Children’s of labo
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The health of family members The in
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The integrity of migrant families t
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The integrity of migrant families B
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Values and life plans 1.7. Values a
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Values and life plans arrest shopli
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Values and life plans abroad as I d
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Values and life plans Extremely mar
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Chapter II Some children whose pare
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Normative aspects tection the child
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Normative aspects The legislation o
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Normative aspects Amongst the other
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Normative aspects Still providing p
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Policies and mechanisms existing on
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Mechanisms for coping with difficul
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Some children protest against the a
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Conclusions and recommendations (in
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Conclusions and recommendations sum
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Conclusions and recommendations inf
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Conclusions and recommendations - T
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Conclusions and recommendations - T
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Annexes Code Age Sex Residence envi
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Annexes Annex 4. Data on focus grou
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Annexes Annex 8. Certificate for th
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