specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

Psychological and social effects of migration
- Fear to be misunderstood: “I’m not sharing anything to my classmates…
when his parents will leave he’ll understand me” (FG_C_1_urban);
“Those who have both parents at home will not understand us”
(FG_C_1_urban);
- The certainty that family problems are a private subject: “I don’t
think my classmates really want to know why my parents left, this is not
their problem, it’s only ours” (FG_C_1_urban);
- Fights caused by the disclosure of family secrets: “Yes, it happens. I
tell her something and then she goes and tells everybody what we have
talked about. We discussed it and she promised she will not do so again
and I believe her”(III_C_8).
Although some children left behind talk to their friends about their family,
they do it selectively: “I talk about it because they want to know, I tell them
that it’s beautiful, I describe them the sea, and that it’s more beautiful there
and that’s all we talk about” (FG_C_1_urban).
The interviewed did not mention anything about facing traumatic experiences
that resulted of the tense relations with their colleagues. Conflicts
occur rarely and are insignificant.
It can be deduced that children left behind make friends with their colleagues,
neighbours, peers, although the feeling of loneliness and the lack
of affection estrange them from others. A low emotional tone makes them
avoid crowds and to strive for intimacy. The lack of emotional models with
their peers helps them not feel their parent’s absence. Besides their constant
care for the house, for their brothers and sisters, the possibility some
of them have to communicate with their parents through the Internet reduces
the frequency of their relationships with their peers outside school.
• Leisure time
The study also approached the way children left behind spend their free
time. The places children spend their free time are: school, neighbourhood,
public places. “We spend our time mostly at school as where we study,
we have parties and we make projects. We spend our time in the neighbourhood
only during summer. During school we have a lot of homework to do
and I have to do things at home and we don’t have so much time for playing”
(III_C_27); “I love to play at the school or I read something at the library
and if I have only four lessons a day I like to go to the library and read there.
I read English books” (III_C_16).
Speaking about toys they use during their free time the respondents said:
“There were more of them when we were little, now there are less” (III_C_26),
“I play with my dog” (FG_C_1_urban).
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