specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

The perception of labour migration
their age: “We grow up prematurely and we lose our childhood. For instance, I
became an adult earlier than I should have and I am taking care of the things
that my mom used to do. I have forgotten when I was childishly smiling not so
long ago and sometimes I smile because I have to, but deep down inside I have
a gap filled with sadness” (FG_C_3_rural). The consequences of this problem
will be perceived at the society level after a certain period of time.
It should be mentioned that the most important issue represents the separation
with their parents and consequently the loneliness that is perceived
by respondents as a reality that will pass when their parents will return
back. Still, specialty books explain the seriousness of the loneliness phenomenon
as well as potential consequences that may unfold over time, affecting
the multilateral development of a child’s personality. Regardless of
their age and sex, children feel frustrated and feel their parents’ absence as
a problem forcing them to grow up prematurely. The study highlighted the
fact that, unfortunately there are cases when this maturation is considered
an adequate moment to try various deviant behaviours.
• The way migrant family members perceive problems (according to
children’s point of view)
The relationship between parents and children also depends on the level
they perceive problems that their children being at home have to face. A
decrease in relationship intensity can lead to a drop in family cohesion as
happened in a family with two daughters living in a rural area. Their father
comes home only when he has a day off from his job in Chisinau and the
girls’ mother and their brother are both abroad: “during those eight days
that I had to stay in the hospital neither my mom nor my dad called me although
they both knew that I was in hospital...” (III_C_19).
The interviewed children claim that parents generally understand their
problems: “they (parents) always encourage me in my actions and decisions and
they help me accomplish my dreams” (III_C_1). Children are especially grateful
that their parents started to talk to them as to their peers, to approach serious
matters that previously were avoided: “she behaves like I’m one of her friends, we
talk about grown-up things” (III_C_18). The problems that children confess to
their parents refer to the communication with their peers, school activities and
their school situation, health, leisure, money management and daily activities.
The problem is differently perceived depending on the gender of the parent,
the interviewed (especially the girls) think that a mother shows a
higher degree of understanding while a father is more reserved: “my mom
understands me better than my father does...”
There are cases of major difficulties in the relationship between children
and parents, generated by the discontinuity of sincere communication,
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